开心词典

敬向东

In a second

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: “God, what is a million dollars to you?” and God says: “A penny”, then the man says: “God, what is a million years to you?” and God says: “a second”, then the man says: “God, can I have a penny?” and God says “In a second”

等一秒钟

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。他问:“主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?”上帝回答:“一便士。”男子又问:“那一百万年呢?”上帝说:“一秒钟。”最后男子请求道:“上帝，我能得到一便士吗?”上帝回答:“过一秒钟。”

A Lesson on logic

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

“Here is the situation,” she said. “a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he cant swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?”

A girl raised her hand and asked, “to draw out all of his savings.”

逻辑推理

小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人站在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“去把他的存款都取出来。”

[注] bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。

Reason for late

Teacher： Johnny，why are you late for school every morning？

Johnny： Every time when I come to the corner，a guidepost says，”School—Go Slow”.

迟到的原因

老师： 约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到？

约翰尼： 每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着“学校——缓行”。

Make it nine months

“Mr. Clark, Im afraid I have bad news,” the doctor told his patient. “You only have six months to live.”

The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes.

“I cant possibly pay you in that time.”

“Okay,” the doctor said, “lets make it nine months.”

九个月吧

“克拉克先生，有个坏消息，你只有六个月可活了。”医生告诉他的病人。

病人惊呆了。“六个月我不可能付清医疗费。”

“好吧，”医生说，“那就九个月吧。”

High and low voice

“Can you explain to me what the difference is between a high-pitched(高音) and low-pitched voice?”

“A high-pitched voice is when my father scolds me,；a low-pitched voice is when my father speaks with his boss.”

高音和低音

“你能解释一下高音和低音的区别吗？”

“高音就是我父亲责备我的时候，低音就是我父亲对他老板说话的时候。”

The new teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

“George, how did you like your new teacher?” asked his mother.

“I didnt like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too ...”

新老师

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？” 妈妈问。

“妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。”

How much is four minus four?

One day, the teacher inquired Peter: “How much is four minus four?” Peter was tongue-tied.

The teacher got angry and said: “What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?”

“The hole.” replied Peter.

四减四可以不等于零吗？

一天，老师问彼得:“4减4等于几？”彼得张口结舌答不上来。

老师生气地说:“真笨！比如我给你衣袋里装进4个硬币，可你衣袋上有个窟窿，硬币全从这里漏掉了，那么，你衣袋里还剩下什么？”

“还剩下个窟窿。”彼得答道。