点滴分享，幸福加分

This is not a story about sharing in a big way. This is not a story about using any of the new and exciting organizations for sharing， or about creating one. This is a story about the little， old-fashioned ways we all know how to share yet rarely think about.

My ex-husband left my daughter and me about four years ago， and we rarely hear from him. He has a lot of problems to deal with before he can take on the 1）responsibilities of fatherhood. I have no 2）grudge against him. Still， this means Im one of the many struggling single mothers， who are mostly painted as tax-sucking 3）leeches and 4）inadequate parents.

The life I lead and am able to provide for my daughter would not exist without sharing.

Families Have Shared...

Families opened up their homes to us， so I never had to choose between paying 5）rent and paying for childcare. In the early days， they would have been about the same 6）amount per month. This meant I could continue to 7）pursue a degree instead of 8）dropping out and working two or three jobs which would have barely covered expenses anyhow.

My Friends and I Share with Each Other...

Every week， I help a couple clean their home， washing dishes and floors and 9）sinks and 10）tubs. In return， they take me 11）grocery shopping for 12）pantry 13）staples like oatmeal， nuts， honey， and pasta. Then we all settle into dinner at their place， share a meal， and a couple of beers， with 14）popsicles for the kids. Thats more 15）nourishing to me than the groceries I just earned， to be honest. Ill watch their kids so they can go on date night； theyll watch mine whenever I find myself in need of childcare.

I have friends who make homemade jams and 16）distribute them to all their friends， just out of a desire to give. I have friends who do the same with homemade 17）laundry soap， and for the same reason. The 18）counselor at the clinic I work in brings 19）produce from her garden every week during the growing season for everyone who works there.

A lot of my friends are spread around the country. One friend has a daughter three years older than mine and ships her 20）outgrown clothes to me. Another has a daughter three years younger than mine， and I， in turn， mail her the 21）hand-me-downs in wearable 22）condition. Some of us send small care packages to each other filled with things only 23）available in our particular locations.

What I share is a willingness to share and 24）pitch in： Ill 25）contribute to any 26）odd job； I volunteer at my kids school； I lead a Girl Scouts 27）troop and try to focus our activities on the importance of community， contributions and sharing， which are all 28）in line with what Girl Scouts encourage anyway； Im a good writer， so I help friends with 29）polishing 30）resumes， 31）application letters and school papers. I dont write these things for them， of course. I show them how to look at their own writing critically； walk them through the editing process， so that theyll walk away with a new skill.

And I listen. 32）Constructive listening is a lost art. Thats why we pay counselors to do it. I dont try to 33）counsel my friends； I just listen to their stories， and show that Im listening—that I hear them—through my body language and the questions I ask. So many of us just need to share our stories and so many of us could benefit from hearing the story of another.

Almost none of this is organized. These are all just little exchanges that have arisen through being open to receive and being 34）desirous of giving. It isnt just the economic structures that have to change in order to spread and grow sharing； its the attitude with which we walk through our lives. I used to be so 35）resistant to asking for or accepting help， because I feared I had nothing to give. What I have learned these last four years is that we all have something to share， and that， often， receiving is as important as giving.

None of us stands alone， none of us can do anything alone， and all of us have something to give...even when its just our story， or our attention.

这个故事要讲的不是那种郑重其事的分享，也不是要讲通过某个令人兴奋的新机构来实现分享，更不是要创办一个。这个故事要说的是那些与人分享的“古老”小方法——虽然每个人都知道，却很少有人想到。

大约四年前，我的前夫离开了我和女儿。我们很少听到他的消息。他有很多问题需要处理，所以未能承担身为人父的责任。虽然我对他并没有怀恨在心，但这仍意味着，我成了众多苦苦挣扎的单身妈妈之一，而这些人往往被形容为吸食税金的水蛭和不合格的父母。

如果不是因为人与人之间的分享，我现在所过的，以及我能为女儿提供的生活，便不可能存在了。

家庭之间的分享……

很多家庭向我们敞开了家门，所以我从来不必在付房租和请保姆之间进行取舍。最初那段时间，每月的房租和请保姆的费用大致相同。这便意味着我可以继续攻读学位，不必中途辍学，也无需打两三份工——挣的钱还几乎无法养家糊口。

朋友之间的共享……

每个星期，我都要到一对夫妇家做清洁，洗碗、拖地、清理水槽和浴缸等等。作为回报，他们会带我去买可储存的主食，比如燕麦、坚果、蜂蜜和面食。然后大家就在他们家共进晚餐，喝点啤酒，给孩子们吃点冰棍。坦白说，这比我刚才赚取的杂货更有意义。我会帮他们照看孩子，这样他们晚上就可以出去约会；而每当我需要人照看孩子的时候，他们也会帮我的忙。

我有些朋友会自制果酱分给所有朋友，仅仅出于一种给予的愿望。还有一些朋友会自制洗衣皂分给大家，也是出于同样的原因。每个星期，我工作的那家诊所的咨询师都会带自家花园出产的时令蔬果来分给同事。

我有很多朋友分布于全国各地。其中一个朋友的女儿比我女儿大三岁，她会把她女儿穿不下的衣服寄给我。另一个朋友的女儿比我女儿小三岁，所以我也会把我女儿退下来、但还能穿的衣服寄给她。我们有些人会把本地特有的一些东西打包成爱心满满的小包裹，寄给对方。

我所分享的是一种分享和参与的意愿：我会为任何零散工作出一份力；我自愿参加孩子学校的工作；我带领一支女童子军，尝试在活动中突显社区、贡献和分享的重要性，这些都符合女童子军所提倡的宗旨；我擅长写作，所以也帮朋友们润色简历、求职信和校刊校报。当然，我不是替他们代笔，我只是告诉他们如何以批判的眼光去审视自己写的东西，陪他们走过编辑的历程，好让他们最后可以掌握一种新的技能。

我也会倾听。建设性的倾听是一种失传的艺术，所以我们才需要花钱请咨询师来做这件事。我不会尝试劝告我的朋友；我只是听他们讲故事，并通过肢体语言和提问，让他们看到我在倾听他们——我听到了他们的心声。其实我们很多人只是需要有人能分享自己的故事，而且很多人都可以从另一个人的故事中获益。

这一切几乎都是没有经过组织的。这些都只是由开怀领受和渴望给予而生的小小的交流而已。重点不仅仅在于必须改变经济结构以传播和增加共享，而在于我们活着所抱持的态度。以前，我对求助于人和受助于人十分抗拒，因为我怕自己没有什么可以给予。但在过去四年中，我学到的是我们都有可以与人分享的东西，而且，接受往往和给予同样重要。

没有人是孤立的，没有人能够单枪匹马做任何事，我们所有人都有一些东西可以给予别人……即使那只是我们自己的故事或者关注的目光。

如何通过分享增加幸福感？

追求幸福是人类的本性。本文将教你一个实现幸福的方法——与人分享。

第1步：想想有什么可以与人分享。这可以是任何东西，从有形的物品到无形的资产，都可以分享。比如，你有一辆几乎从来不用的自行车，那么为何不与真正需要自行车的人分享呢？如果你是某个方面的专家，你也可以与别人分享你的技能。可能性是无穷无尽的！

第2步：找到可以分享的人。也许你心里已经有人选了，无论是朋友、家人、同事或是在咖啡厅遇到的陌生人。如果你此时此刻想不到什么人与你分享，或者你想冒一冒险，你也可以试试在网上找。

第3步：享受分享的过程。别忘了整件事情的重点就在于增加幸福感。

第4步：体验幸福。现在是为你所做的善行感到高兴的时候了。事实上，已有科学研究证明，在分享时你会感到更加幸福。这是因为，当你处于一种积极的社会关系时，血液中的内啡肽和多巴胺水平会显著提高。这些神经传递素能令人产生满足和放松的感觉，从而让你感觉更加幸福！