My First Time to Cook

张造云

My parents went to visit my grandparents. They would come back tomorrow. I had to cook for myself this evening.

I thought it was easy to cook rice. First I washed the rice with water. Then I added enough water to cook. When the rice was OK， I begin① to cook meat. I saw mother cook meat with onions. So I cut some onions. Then my eyes were so uncomfortable that they could not open any longer. I shut up my mouth， with tear② in eyes.

My classmate Chen Dalong came to my house and asked me to help with his math. He looked at me and asked， “What are you crying for？”

“The onions make my eyes uncomfortable and I cant help crying.”

“I have a good way to cut onions. You should put the onions into water. When you cut the onions， the water will keep the onions wet. You have③ a try，” he said.

湖南省永州市冷水滩区竹山桥学校八（59）班 陈文秀

1. 优点：

这篇文章富有生活气息，读了之后深受启发。小作者记录自己学做饭、切洋葱的生活小事。文章生动有趣，对话自然，毫无做作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① begin改为began。前面是过去时态，前后时态要保持一致；

② tear改为tears。tear作“眼泪”讲是可数名词，所以此处应用其复数形式“tears”；

③ have改为can have。根据上下文，建议对方试一试，用情态动词can。

3.评分：

按湖南省永州市中考英语作文满分15分的评分标准，本文修改前可得13分。