从害羞男孩到可靠盟友

David+Hammer

I remember the day as clear as glass. I was in 6th grade and my teacher had just announced it was recess， a time we were allowed to eat snacks and move around the classroom. But on that day， break time would have been a much more fitting phrase—I had reached a breaking point.

My friend sat across from1） me. Two classmates who were attention seekers were teasing him again. They did something mean to him every day. On this day， they were singing a song about him： "Chicken， chicken Josh." They sang relentlessly2）， while the teacher chose to ignore them. Those words were like a bite of jalape?o3） to my friend， who turned red with rage and embarrassment， while tears of frustration dripped from his eyes. This made the other kids in class laugh. I could see how hopeless he felt.

On other days， they would steal his school supplies， call his sister ugly， and make fun of his big head.

Normally， I would just sit and watch it all. I was very shy. I rarely spoke during recess or raised my hand in class. I was so shy， in fact， that the school assigned me a social worker. In an effort to get me to participate more， she made me a chart to check off4） every time I raised my hand. She said I&apos；d receive a prize if I filled it up. But I never did. It didn&apos；t help with my shyness； it just made me more self-conscious. I felt like my teacher and social worker were too focused on me.

But on this particular day， I took a stand. I&apos；d had enough. I stood up and shouted， "Leave him alone！" Silence broke out， all eyes in the room locked on me. But the silence was short-lived as everyone went back to enjoying their break. For the rest of the day， every time the bullies would taunt my friend during class， I would scream， "Stop annoying him，" or， "It wouldn&apos；t hurt to be nice，" or， "You don&apos；t have to be mean."

But these words didn&apos；t help. In fact， it made the situation worse： I too became a victim. That afternoon， the two bullies began to make up songs about me. My friend said， "Looks like you&apos；re a target now."

That night， I told my father about what had happened. He begged me to forget about it until after winter break， which started the next day. I did my best to do that.

Now I&apos；m the Target

When it was time to return to school in February， I was nervous. I thought to myself， "What if they bully me？ What will I do？" But then I thought， "Maybe it was only a one-day thing， maybe they forgot about me." It was this mindset that gave me the courage I needed that early February day.

Boy， was I wrong！ In the early afternoon my tormentors5） began to whisper songs about me. They chanted， pronouncing my name in a different dialect to show I was different from them.

This mocking and disrespect upset me a lot. I felt helpless. Here&apos；s how a typical afternoon went： I&apos；d hear the bullies whispering songs about me. Nobody heard them except me and it upset me so much I couldn&apos；t stand it another second.

"Stop！" I screamed. My teacher turned from the whiteboard and said to me， "Don&apos；t interrupt the class."

"But they are making up songs about me！"

"I don&apos；t care. Ignore them."

Speaking Up

A few weeks later， I spoke to my teacher after class. He promised to help me with the conflict and even volunteered to tell my two other teachers about it. It was a relief hearing comforting language from a grown-up. I thought， "Maybe I can help my friend and myself and end our trouble." But the disciplinary6） method my teacher used couldn&apos；t force a rock to stay still.

Speaking Up—Again

This was the case every day until a few weeks later， when I decided to talk to my social worker.

She told me， "David， no one deserves to be bullied. I want you to keep me up-to-date on this. I&apos；m going to handle it."

"What if the bullies find out I told on7） them？"

"Everything is going to be fine. I want you to promise me you won&apos；t worry about the bullies； I will take care of everything. I&apos；m going to notify your teachers that whenever you want to speak to me， you can come to my office."

My confidence soared after that conversation. I was a bold eagle. I flew up the stairs back to class.

But she didn&apos；t take care of it. The rogues8） continued to harass me and my friend. The only change was that now I had my social worker to talk to. Whenever I felt hopeless， I went to her office. One day， she finally said： "David， I think it&apos；s time to get the principal involved."

"I don&apos；t know if I like that idea，" I said hesitantly. "Let&apos；s say my enemies find out from the principal that I spoke to her. Then what？ They&apos；ll threaten me."

"David， I don&apos；t know what the principal will do， but whatever she does it will be for your own good."

I didn&apos；t want to be the guy who gets other kids in trouble， but it had to be done.

當校园欺凌事件发生在你身边，你会置之不理还是伸出援手？你要相信，帮助别人就是帮助自己。

我依然清楚地记得那一天。当时我上六年级，老师刚刚宣布下课，课间休息时我们可以吃吃东西，在教室里转悠转悠。但那天，爆发时间也许是个更合适的词语——我当时达到了爆发点。

我朋友当时坐在我对面，两个平时就喜欢出风头的同学又开始戏弄他。他们每天都会对我朋友做一些不友好的事情。那天，他们在唱一首关于他的歌：“胆小鬼，胆小鬼乔什。”他们唱个不停，而老师却选择视而不见。那些话对我朋友来说像咬了一口墨西哥胡椒一样，他既愤怒又窘迫，脸都红了，沮丧的泪水从他眼里吧嗒吧嗒往下掉。这一幕让班上其他孩子哈哈大笑起来。我能看得出他有多无助。

其他日子里，他们会偷偷拿走他的学习用品，说他妹妹长得丑，还取笑他的脑袋大。

通常，我只是坐看发生的一切。那时的我非常害羞。我一般不怎么在课间休息时说话，也很少在课堂上举手。我太过害羞了，事实上，学校都给我指派了一位社工。这位社工为了让我更多地参与课堂，给我做了一张表，让我每举一次手都在表上打个钩。她说如果我能把那张表上的格子都打满钩，我就会收到一份礼物。不过我从没填满过那张表，它对我克服害羞一点帮助都没有，只是让我更难为情而已。我觉得我的老师和社工有点过度关注我。

但就是在这一天，我表明了我的立场。我受够了。我站起来喊道：“离他远点！”教室里瞬间鸦雀无声，所有人的目光都锁定在我身上。不过这一瞬的安静没有持续多久，大家很快就又开始享受他们的休息时间。那天余下的时间里，每当那些恃强凌弱的家伙在课堂上欺负我朋友，我都会冲着他们尖叫：“别再烦他了”或“对别人好一点你们又不会掉块肉”或“你们没必要这么刻薄”。

不过这些话没什么用。事实上，这让情况更糟了：我也变成了受害者。那天下午，那两个小霸王开始编关于我的歌。我朋友说：“看来现在你被他们盯上了。”

那天晚上，我把发生的事都告诉了父亲。他请我忘记这件事，等到寒假过完再说。第二天就是寒假了，我尽力按他说的去做。

现在我成了目标

当2月份该返校的时候，我非常紧张。我自思自忖，“如果他们欺负我怎么办？我要怎么做？”不过我接着又想，“也许这只是一天的事儿，他们也许已经把我忘在脑后了。”就是这样的想法给了我在2月初的那天去学校所需的勇气。

天，我错得多么离谱！那天下午刚开始，折磨我的那两个恶魔就开始悄声唱着关于我的歌。他们在歌里用不同的方言唱着我的名字以表示我跟他们不同。

这样的嘲弄和无礼让我非常心烦，我觉得很无助。我的下午一贯都是这样度过的：我会听到那两个小霸王小声唱关于我的歌，这些歌除了我没人能听到，这让我心烦意乱得多一秒都忍受不下去。

“别唱了！”我大喊。老师从白板前转过身来，对我说：“别扰乱课堂。”

“但是他们在编关于我的歌！”

“我不关心这个，别理他们。”

说出来

几周后，我在课下跟老师说了这件事。他答应会帮我解决矛盾，甚至主動把这件事告诉了我的其他两位老师。听到一个成年人的安慰话语，真是一种宽慰。我想，“也许我能帮助我和我的朋友结束这些麻烦事。”但是老师使用的训诫方法并不管用。

再次发声

这样的情况每天发生，直到几周后我决定告诉我的社工。

她对我说：“大卫，没人活该被欺负。我希望你能继续告诉我这件事的进展。我会处理的。”

“如果那两个家伙发现我告了他们的状怎么办？”

“没事的。我希望你向我保证你不会再担心那两个小霸王，我会处理一切。我要报告你的老师，如果你想跟我说话，不管什么时间都可以来我办公室。”

这场谈话后，我的信心飞涨。我是只勇敢的雄鹰，一路飞奔上楼回到了教室。

但是她并没有处理好这件事。那两个调皮鬼还是继续欺负我和我的朋友。唯一的改变是现在我可以跟我的社工倾诉这件事了。每当我觉得无助的时候我就去她的办公室。终于有一天，她说：“大卫，我觉得是时候让校长来处理这件事了。”

“我不知道这是不是个好主意，”我迟疑地说，“如果我的死对头从校长那里知道我向她告过状该怎么办？他们会威胁我的。”

“大卫，我不知道校长会怎么做，但是不管她做什么，都是为了你好。”

我不想成为找其他孩子麻烦的人，不过这件事必须做。

Pride and Relief

My meeting with the principal didn&apos；t take place for a month. Once inside her office， she assured me I would be safe if I talked， so I did.

When I finished， she said， "David， I&apos；m going to speak to the two kids separately， and there will be consequences for their actions."

"But I never intended to get the bullies in trouble. I just want them to stop harassing me."

"I hear you， but you and your friend weren&apos；t the only children who were bullied by these two boys. It won&apos；t be tolerated."

I had no idea other kids were being bullied too. On my way back to class， I felt proud that I had spoken up. I also felt worry about the unknown， and relief now that the deed was done.

The boys stopped bullying my friend and me immediately after the meeting. I later found out one wasn&apos；t admitted back to school the next year， while the other one was allowed to come back but only after he turned in extra summer homework as punishment.

The following year， something surprising happened. I slowly began talking to the bully who stayed in my school. First we just started nodding hello to each other in the halls. Then we began to have conversations. Today， it&apos；s as if a giant eraser erased the pages of our troubled past.

This experience helped me change gradually from a shy person who wouldn&apos；t even raise his hand in class to someone who takes pride in voicing his opinions. I also learned that if I believe something is wrong， I should speak up， even if it means standing out. And if adults or others in power don&apos；t pay attention to you， don&apos；t give up. It took months of me reaching out to different adults in my school until eventually someone listened and helped me.

骄傲和解脱

我一个月之后才去见了校长。一进到办公室，她就向我保证如果我把事情都说出来我会安然无恙，所以我告诉了她。

我说完后，她说：“大卫，我会跟那两个孩子单独谈谈，他们要为自己的行为承担后果。”

“但是我从没打算要让他们吃苦头，我只想让他们别再骚扰我了。”

“你的意见我都听到了，不过你和你的朋友并不是唯一被这两个孩子欺凌的人。这种行为不能被容忍。”

我完全不知道其他孩子也被欺凌了。在回教室的路上，我为自己感到骄傲，因为我说出来了。但我同时又觉得忧心，不知道会发生什么，还觉得松了口气，该做的都已经做了。

那次会面后，那两个孩子立即就不再欺负我和我的朋友了。后来我才知道其中一个孩子在第二年不允许返校，而另一个则是在额外提交了一份暑假作业作为惩罚后才被允许回校就读。

接下来那年，令人惊讶的事情发生了。我慢慢地开始跟那个留在校内的孩子说话了。最开始，我们只是在大厅里互相点头打招呼。后来我们开始有了对话。如今，我们俩那不愉快的过去就好像被一块巨大的橡皮擦擦掉了。

这段经历帮助我逐渐从一个害羞到甚至不敢在课堂举手的人变成了一個会为说出自己意见而感到骄傲的人。我还明白了，如果我认为某件事情是错的，那就应该说出来，即使这意味着引人注目。如果成年人或是其他有权的人没有注意到你，也不要放弃。我用了好几个月时间向学校里不同的成年人求助，直到最后有人倾听，并帮助了我。

1. sit across from： 坐在对面

2. relentlessly [r??lentl?sli] adv. 持续地；不停地

3. jalape?o [?h?l??pe?nj??] n. 墨西哥胡椒

4. check off： （核对无误后）在……打钩

5. tormentor [t???ment?（r）] n. 折磨他人的人

6. disciplinary [?d?s?pl?n?ri] adj. 以惩戒方法实施纪律的，惩戒（性）的

7. tell on： 告发

8. rogue [r??ɡ] n. 调皮鬼