你怎么可以这样呢

文◎Jim Willis 绘◎马豆子

本文选自美国作家Jim Willis的畅销书《Pieces Of My Heart—Writings Inspired by Animals and Nature》，以自述的形式讲述了一只家犬对昔日主人的真情告白。当年作者用七千美元以全版广告的形式在报纸上刊登了该文章，以一篇文章感动了所有的读者。

扫我，朗读给你听

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics①and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite②a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad", you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?"but then you'd relent, and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected,because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together.I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your conf i dences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides.

Gradually③, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions. She,now your wife, is not a "dog person"-still I welcomed her into our home, I was happy because you were happy.

当我还是一只小狗的时候，我的顽皮滑稽每每惹你发笑，为你带来欢乐。你把我叫作你的孩子，虽然家里许多鞋子和靠枕都被我咬得残缺不全，我依然是你最好的朋友。无论什么时候我干了“坏”事，你总会对我摇摇手指说：“你怎么可以这样呢？”不过最后你都会原谅我，把我扑倒然后搓我的肚皮。

你非常忙碌，但是我们还是一起努力让我改掉了乱啃家居物品的坏习惯，虽然所花的时间比预期的要长。我依然记得那些夜晚，我总会跳到你的床上用鼻子蹭你，倾听你的知心话和秘密的梦想，那时的我觉得生活简直是完美无瑕。我们常常去公园散步和追逐，乘车兜风。

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them,and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to④my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs,poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch-because your touch was now so infrequent⑤-and I would have defended them with my life if need be.

渐渐地，你把更多时间花在工作和事业上，而花更多时间去找寻你的另一半。而我总会耐心地等你回来，在每一个绝望心碎的日子里给你安慰，永远支持你哪怕是你糟透了的决定。你现在的妻子她并不是一个“爱狗之人”，但我还是欢迎她来到我们家。因为你开心，所以我也开心。

后来你们添了几个小娃娃，我也跟你一样万分雀跃。然而你和她却怕我会弄伤他们，大部分时间都把我关在另一个房间里，甚至关到笼子里。随着孩子们慢慢长大，我也成了他们的好朋友。他们喜欢抓着我的毛摇摇晃晃地站起来，喜欢用指头戳戳我的眼睛，喜欢研究我的耳朵，也喜欢亲吻我的鼻子。我喜欢他们的一切，尤其喜欢他们的抚摸——因为你现在已经很少触摸我了——如果有必要的话我会用我的生命去保护他们。现在，你的事业迎来了一个新的机遇，你们要搬到另一个城市去，移居到一幢不许养宠物的公寓里。终于，你为“家庭”做出了正确的抉择，可是曾几何时我就是你唯一的家人？

坐在你的车里我充满了期待，然而我们到达的却是一家动物收容所。你不得不掰开你儿子紧抓着我项圈的手指，而他哭喊着：“不要！爸爸，求你不要让他们带走我的狗狗！”我很替他担心，因为你刚才教他的人生课程：什么是友情、忠诚、爱、责任，还有对所有生命的尊重，是多么的歪曲错误！

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city,and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we a r r i v e d at the animal shelter. You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar, as he screamed "No, Daddy. Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty⑥, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

你避开我的目光，最后一次轻轻拍我的头说再见，并礼貌地拒绝带走我的项圈及皮带。

虽然这里的人整天忙得团团转，但只要有时间，他们总会尽量照料我们。在这里我不愁食物，可是数日以来我已经食不下咽了。刚开始，每当有人经过这牢笼，我都会满心期待地冲上前去，希望是你来了——以为你回心转意来把我接回去——希望这只是一场噩梦……

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you.

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first,whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was youthat you had changed your mind-that this was all a bad dream...

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured"How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said"I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself-a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.

And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

那天傍晚我听到她向我走来，然后我跟着她轻轻地穿过长廊，走进一个独立的房间。在这异常安静的房间里，她把我放在一张桌子上，揉着我的耳朵叫我不要担心。我已料到即将发生的事情，而我的心为此猛烈地跳动着，可是同时也浮现出一种解脱的感觉。她温柔地为我的前腿绑上止血带，此时她的泪珠滑下了脸颊。我温柔地舐她的手，犹如许多年前我在你悲伤的时候安慰你一样。我昏昏沉沉地躺下了，看着她亲切的眼睛，我喃喃地说：“你怎么可以这样呢？”

也许是她听懂了我的话，她对我说：“真是对不起。”她拥着我，急忙向我解释说这是她的工作，她要保证把我带到一个更好的地方，一个充满爱和光明，跟尘世完全不同的世界，在那里我不会再受冷落，遭欺凌，被遗弃，也不需再自谋生存……

我使尽全身最后一丝力气用尾巴重重地敲了一下桌子，竭力想让她知道这句“你怎么可以这样 呢？”并不是对她说的，而是对你说的，我最爱的主人。我一直都在想念你，我会永远怀念你，永远等待你。我只希望你生命中的每一个人也可以这么忠诚地对待你。

① antic 英 ['æntɪk] adj. 古怪的；滑稽可笑的 n. 滑稽动作

② despite 英 [dɪ'spaɪt] 美 [dɪ'spaɪt] prep. 尽管，不管

③ gradually 英 ['grædʒʊlɪ; 'grædjʊəlɪ] 美 ['grædʒʊəli]adv. 逐步地；渐渐地

④cling to 坚持；依靠；依附；紧握不放

⑤ infrequent 英 [ɪn'friːkw(ə)nt] 美 [ɪn'frikwənt]adj. 罕见的；稀少的

⑥ loyalty 英 ['lɒɪəltɪ] 美 ['lɔɪəlti] n. 忠诚；忠心