毕翠克丝·波特的秘密情事

By Laura Silverman

For households across the land， all self-respecting rabbits wear blue coats with brass buttons and hop around vegetable patches， eating radishes.2 Everyone knows the enchanting tale of Peter Rabbit. Few know the tragic tale of his creator， Beatrix Potter.

This year is the 150th anniversary of Potters birth， and archivists have been trawling through her thousands of letters—many of them unpublished—for hidden details about her life.3 They have discovered that behind her fiercely guarded public image was a deeply sensitive woman， who never got over her first love.4

Beatrixs relationship with her publisher， Norman Warne， was the focus of Miss Potter 5. But in the film， Beatrix lives happily ever after with William Heelis， a solicitor6. The truth is much darker. “Its a really sad story，” says Sara Glenn， curator7 of the Warne archives. “Reading Beatrixs letters， I was surprised to find that her love for Norman never died. We think of Beatrix Potter as a strong， private woman， but these letters show her intense loneliness.”

Beatrix Potter was born into an upper-class household on July 28， 1866. The family lived at 2 Bolton Gardens in Kensington， west London. Beatrix had few friends， except for the rabbits and mice she kept as pets. She loved to sketch8 them. In her late 20s， she wrote illustrated letters to the children of her former governess9， Annie Moore. Five-yearold Noel， who had been ill with scarlet fever， received the first incarnation of The Tale of Peter Rabbit.10 Moore suggested Beatrix turn the story into a book. Six publishers rejected the manuscript11， so Beatrix published it herself. It was such a success that she asked the publisher who had sent the politest rejection letter， Frederick Warne & Co， to reconsider. They agreed. The official Tale of Peter Rabbit came out in 1902. By Christmas， it had sold 20，000 copies.

Harold and Fruing， Fredericks sons who had taken over the business， didnt expect Beatrixs “little book” to become a best-seller and gave Peter Rabbit to their younger brother， Norman， as a project. The partnership between Beatrix and Norman was to transform their lives forever.

Norman admired Beatrixs strong personality. Beatrix warmed to his sense of humour and imagination. They exchanged letters every day. “It was the strangest of courtships12，” said Winifred Warne， Normans niece， years later. “They were never alone together. When Beatrix went to the office she was always chaperoned13 and when she went to Bedford Square[the Warne household] some other member of the family would always be there， too.”

Beatrixs parents were infuriated14 enough that Beatrix was pursuing a career as a writer as upper middle class women were not supposed to work. They would have been even more displeased to discover that their daughter was thinking about marrying “into trade”. “Their love affair was all cloak and dagger stuff，” says Glenn.

On July 25， 1905， Norman proposed to Beatrix in a letter. She accepted. Her parents disapproved and the news was kept to immediate relatives. On the morning of August 25， Beatrix received a telegram from the Warne family， telling her that Norman was ill. That afternoon he died of lymphatic leukaemia15. He was 37. Beatrix was heartbroken. “It was really hard on her，” says Glenn. “She was absolutely in pieces. Her whole world was about to fall apart.”

Beatrix clung to the idea that she could have shared her life with Norman and she pursued their dream of setting up home at Hill Top Farm near Sawrey in the Lake District.16 She bought the 17thcentury house and its 34-acre farm that autumn. The Hollywood version of her story sees her swiftly falling in love with William Heelis of Appleby， a local solicitor who helps her purchase nearby land. But they werent to meet until 1908 and Norman remains very much in Beatrixs mind for years to come.

Instead of her grief subsiding over the following months， it grew more acute.17 In an unpublished letter， dated February 1， 1906， she writes to Millie， Normans sister： “Do you remember Miss Austens Persuasion with all the scenes and streets in Bath？18 It was always my favourite and I read the end part of it again last July， on the 26th the day after I got Normans letter， I thought my story had come right with patience and waiting like Anne Elliotts19 did. There was a concert going on this afternoon at the pump room20， I kept thinking about the book.” Both Anne and Beatrix longed for men they were told were beneath them. But whereas Anne eventually married Captain Wentworth21， Beatrix was to remain separated from her love for ever.

Eight years on， Beatrix was still deeply in love with Norman. She felt she must justify her upcoming marriage to William to herself as much as to anyone else.22 In an unpublished letter， Beatrix writes to Millie： “I have felt very uncomfortable and guilty when with you for some time—especially when you asked about Sawrey. You would be only human if you felt a little hurt！ Norman was a saint if ever man was good， I do not believe he would object， especially as it was my illness and the miserable feeling of loneliness that decided me at last. I certainly am not doing it from thoughtless light-heartedness23 as I am in very poor spirits about the future.”

“I get the impression that Beatrixs marriage to William was a pragmatic24 decision，” says Glenn. “They enjoyed each others company， but it was a relationship based largely on business. You can imagine them sitting across the table from each other， with their toasted teacakes25 and cups of tea， going，‘What do you think about this farm？ Beatrix is still feeling awkward about having another relationship after all this time.” She felt at ease with William because they both loved nature， but her letter hardly suggests she was overwhelmed with joy.

Beatrix and William married on October 15， 1913. But Norman was still in the picture. That November Beatrix went to London to sort through her possessions at Bolton Gardens. She found letters from Norman that were “so upsetting” she couldnt read them. “There are things I scarcely know what to do with—like his pipe26，” she wrote to Millie. “I scarcely ought to be keeping them.” Of course， she did.

Alongside her wedding ring， she wore Normans engagement ring. In November 1918， it slipped off her finger.“This might have been a sorry and ashamed letter！” she wrote to Millie. “I lost Normans ring in the cornfield—pulled off while lifting wet sheaves with my fingers slipped under the bands， but it turned up amongst the remains of some wet stuff thrown down for the hens.27 I had untied many on the threshing floor28 in hopes of finding it. I am glad I was spared that last crowning distress of a most disastrous harvest29... My hand felt very strange & uncomfortable without it.” It was 13 years after Normans death—and yet still she felt very much attached.

“She did change her name to Mrs Heelis in the end，” says Glenn. “But she easily could have been Beatrix Warne. It was always Norman for her.” Beatrix Potter died in 1943， aged 77. She wore Normans plain gold ring for the rest of her life.

1. Beatrix Potter： 毕翠克丝·波特（1866—1943），英国作家、插画家、自然科学家与保育运动人士，以描述动物的童书作品闻名，如《比得兔的故事》等；cloak and dagger： 斗篷与短刀，指秘密行为或有关阴谋、间谍、密探的暗中行动。

2. brass： 黄铜制品；patch：（用于种水果或蔬菜的）小块土地；radish：（皮呈红、白或浅黑色，可生吃的）小萝卜。

3. archivist： 档案保管员；trawl：（在大量文件、名单等中）搜寻（资料）。

4. 他们发现，在她极力维护的公众形象背后，是一个极其敏感的女人，从未走出初恋的伤痛。

5. Miss Potter：《波特小姐》，于2006年首映的传记影片，由克里斯·努安执导，讲述了毕翠克丝·波特的创作历程和爱情故事。

6. solicitor：（英国的）事务律师。

7. curator：（博物馆、美术馆、档案馆的）馆长。

8. sketch： v. 素描。

9. governess： 家庭女教师。

10. scarlet fever： 猩红热，一种急性呼吸道传染病；incarnation：化身，具体化。

11. manuscript： 手稿，底稿。

12. courtship： 戀爱期。

13. chaperon： // 陪伴，护送。

14. infuriated： 大怒的。

15. lymphatic leukaemia： 淋巴细胞白血病。

16. 毕翠克丝坚持着她原本可以与诺曼相守一生的想法，追寻着他们的梦想，在湖区索里附近的山顶农场中建造了一个家。the Lake District： 英格兰湖区，是英格兰西北部坎布里亚郡的一片乡村地区，风景如画的旅游胜地，湖泊与群山遍布，因19世纪初诗人华兹华斯（William Wordsworth）的作品以及湖畔诗人（Lake Poets）而著称。毕翠克丝·波特曾在其创作的黄金时期居住于此。

17. subside：（感情、痛苦、声音等）平息，减弱；acute： 严重的，剧烈的。

18. Miss Austen： 简·奥斯汀（Jane Austen， 1775—1817），英国小说家，代表作有《傲慢与偏见》、《理智与情感》等；Persuasion：《劝导》，简·奥斯汀的一部长篇小说，讲述了一对青年男女历经磨难、终成正果的曲折爱情故事；Bath： 巴斯，英国城市，因曾是罗马人的温泉胜地而得名，是英国唯一列入世界文化遗产的城市，简·奥斯汀曾在此居住，也是《劝导》这一故事的发生地。

19. Anne Elliott： 安妮·艾略特，《劝导》的女主人公。

20. pump room：（矿泉疗养地的）饮水房。

21. Captain Wentworth： 温特沃思上校，《劝导》的男主人公。

22. 她觉得她必须就即将嫁给威廉这件事给自己一个理由，也给其他所有人一个交代。

23. light-heartedness： 自由自在，无忧无虑。

24. pragmatic： 务实的，讲求实际的。

25. teacake： 茶点心（一种含葡萄干的扁平圆形小面包）。

26. pipe： 烟斗。

27. 我在麦田里弄丢了诺曼的戒指——在我搬起一捆捆潮湿的麦束时，手指从束带下一滑，便将戒指碰掉了。但后来，我在扔进鸡圈里的剩下的那堆湿麦子里找到了它。cornfield： 麦田，稻田；sheaf： 捆，束。

28. threshing floor： 打谷场。

29. 我很庆幸在糟糕的收成之后幸免了最痛苦的事（指失去戒指）。crowning：最高的。