改变人生的密码

I was having a great morning until I sat down in front of my office computer. “Your password has expired，”a server message flashed on my screen， with instructions for changing it. Coming up with a new code doesnt seem like a big deal， unless you work at my company， where we have to change it monthly， using at least one uppercase character， one lowercase character， one symbol， and one numeral. Oh， and the whole darn thing cant be fewer than eight characters. And I cant use any of the same passwords Ive used in the past three months.

Suddenly I was furious. What didnt make it any better was that I was deeply depressed after my recent divorce. Disbelief over what she had done to me was all I thought about. Every day.

That didnt mean anything to the empty input field with a pulsating cursor， waiting for me to type a password that Id have to reenter—many times—for the next 30 days. I remembered a tip Id heard from my former boss. Hed said， “Im going to use a password to change my life.”

I couldnt focus on getting things done in my current mood. There were clear indicators of what I needed to do to regain control of my life， but I couldnt heed them.

My password became the indicator. My password reminded me that I shouldnt let myself be a victim of my recent breakup and that I was strong enough to do something about it.

I made my password Forgive@h3r.

I had to type this statement several times a day. Each time my computer would lock. Each time my screen saver with her photo would appear. Each time I would come back from eating lunch alone. In my mind， I wrote Forgive her every day.

The simple action changed the way I looked at my ex-wife. That constant reminder of reconciliation led me to accept the way things had happened at the end of my marriage and embrace a new way of dealing with my depression. As the month wore on， I felt a slow healing begin to take place. By the time my server prompted me to reset my password the following month， I felt free.

One month later， my dear Exchange server asked me yet again to reset my password. I thought about the next thing that I had to get done.

My password became Quit@smoking4ever.

I quit smoking overnight.

This password was a painful one to type during that month， but doing it helped me to yell at myself in my mind as I typed that statement. It motivated me to follow my monthly goal.

One month later， my password became Save4trip@ thailand.

Guess where I went three months later： Thailand.

Seeing how these reminders helped to materialize my goals kept me motivated and excited. While its sometimes difficult to come up with your next goal， keeping at it brings great results.

Here is a simplified extract of what some of my passwords have been in the past two years， so you get an idea of how my life has changed， thanks to this method：

Forgive@h3r -To my ex-wife， who left me.

Quit@smoking4ever - It worked.

Save4trip@thailand - It worked.

Eat2times@day - It never worked， still fat.

Ask@her4date - It worked. I fell in love again.

MovE@togeth3r - It worked.

Facetime2mom@sunday - It worked. I talk with Mom every week.

And the one for last month：

Save4@ring - Yep. Life is gonna change again soon.

當我坐在办公室电脑前时，原本美好的早晨被电脑屏幕弹出来的一行字给打破了——“您的密码已过期”，并提示我更换密码。想一个新密码似乎没有什么大不了的，除非你在我公司工作，我们每个月都必须更换一次密码，还必须用到至少一个大写字母，一个小写字母，一个符号和一个数字。噢，还有，整个密码不得少于八个字符。而且我还不能使用任何一组在之前三个月已经使用过的密码。

我顿时觉得非常生气。雪上加霜的是，我最近离婚了，陷入了深深的沮丧当中。我每天都在苦苦纠结，不愿相信她竟然对我做出了这种事。每天如此。

可这对于面前这个空白的输入框来说，毫无意义，里面的光标一闪一闪地等待着我再次输入——我将要在接下来的30天多次输入的密码。我想起了从以前的老板那里听来的一个提示。他说过，“我要用密码来改变我的人生。”

我现在的心情让我无法集中注意力做事。虽然有清楚的指示提醒我该做些什么来重新支配我的生活，但是这些指示没办法引起我的注意。

我的密码成了指示器。我的密码提醒我，我不能让自己成为这桩离婚事件的受害者，而且我足够坚强来面对这件事。

我把密码设成：Forgive@h3r（原谅她）。

我每天都要把这句话打上好几次——锁定电脑的时候;在我的屏保（她的照片）出现的时候;在我独自一人吃完午餐回来的时候。我的脑海每天都写着：原谅她。

这个简单的举动改变了我对前妻的看法。这个代表着和解的密码一直提醒着我，让我接受了那段失败的婚姻，让我积极对抗消沉的心情。这个月渐渐过去，我感觉心里的伤口在慢慢愈合。等到电脑服务器弹出提示，让我为下个月重新设置密码的时候，我觉得我已经放下了。

一个月后，亲爱的微软Exchange服务器再次让我重新设置密码。我想了想我下一件要做到的事。

我的密码变成Quit@smoking

4ever（彻底戒烟）。

我一夜之间就把烟戒掉了。

在那个月里，输入这个密码是件痛苦的事，但这样做能够让我在心里为自己鼓劲儿，激励自己努力做到那个月的目标。

一个月后，我的密码变成了Save4trip@thailand（存钱去泰国）。

猜猜看三个月后我去了哪里：泰国。

看到这些提示使我的目标一一实现，我感到非常振奋。虽然有时要想出你的下一个目标有点困难，但是坚持下来你会看到很好的成效。

这里简单精选了我在过去两年里使用过的一些密码，从中你能一窥我生活的变化。多亏了这个方法：Forgive@h3r—（原谅她）致离我而去的妻子。Quit@smoking4ever—（把烟彻底戒掉）奏效。Save4trip@thailand—（存钱去泰国）奏效。

Eat2times@day—（一天吃两顿）从未奏效，还是很胖。

Ask@her4date—（邀请她跟我约会）奏效。我又坠入了爱河。

MovE@togeth3r—（搬到一起住）奏效。

Facetime2mom@sunday—（星期天和妈妈视讯）奏效，我每周都有和妈妈聊天。

这是上一个月的密码：

Save4@ring—（存钱买戒指）没错，我的人生即将再次改变