Different Learning Ways

Lily and Lucy are twins. They are middle school students. They both work hard and① they have different learning ways.

Lily is often tired in class. She usually doesnt listen to the teacher. As the② result， she misses a lot of knowledge points that the teacher makes. So she has to stay up late and doesnt get enough sleep. However， Lucy listens careful③ and tries to catch what the teacher says in class. Because of this， she goes to bed early and she learns better than Lily.

In my opinion， Lucy learns better in class and has more free time to enjoy himself④， so I prefer her learning way.

河北省阜城县第四中学七年级（3）班 宗佳慧

1. 优点：

本文结构紧凑，层次分明，语言简练，文字流畅，把“莉莉和露西不同的学习方法”有条不紊地表达出来。本文交替使用了both，in class，listen，miss，stay up late，however，try ones best，because of，in ones opinion，prefer，so等词汇，使上下文意连接紧密，过渡自然，这是本文的一大亮点。此外，文中使用了并列句、状语从句和宾语从句等丰富的句型，更是文章获得高分的关键所在。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①and改为but。前后文是转折关系，故and改为but。

②the改为a。as a result是固定短语，意为“结果（是）”。

③careful改为carefully。修饰实义动词需要用副词修饰，故careful改为carefully。

④himself改为herself。Lucy是女生，故himself改为herself。

3. 评分：

按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准，本文修改前可得18分。

本期点评名师

张超 男 河北省衡水市阜城县第四中学高级英语教师，市英语优秀教师，县骨干教师。从事英语教育教学工作31年。多年来，在省级以上报刊《中学生英语》《学英语》《英语周报》《中学生英语读写》《中学英语园地》《英语辅导》《校园英语》等发表文章数百篇，并有多篇论文获奖。曾参与高中版教辅资料《天天向上》《三维方案》的編写工作，并荣获“中央教育科学研究所全国基础教育科研先进个人”荣誉称号。多次辅导数名学生在市、省和国家级英语竞赛中获奖。