This is me!

近日，你班正在评选体育主播，你打算参评。请结合特长介绍自己，表达出对体育的热爱。

Writing

原文呈现

Hello,everyone!My name is Tom.I am a student in Class 9,Grade 7.

I am tall and thin.I have black hair and a round face.My eyes are not big.I often have a smile on my face.I am a friendly boy.

可适当增加连接词和过渡句，使文章显得紧凑、有层次，表达更加流畅自然。

I like reading and many kinds of sports.Basketball is my favourite.I began to play it when I was five years old.I usually run on the playground after school.Now,I am a member of the school basketball team.Last month,our team won two matches and I felt happy.

本段落需要紧扣段落中心，具体描述作者的爱好和特长，此处遗漏写作要点——特长。

此句与“爱好和特长”无关。

Among all the basketball players,I like Yao Ming best.He is so cool.In the future,I will practise hard and I want to be a basketball player like him!

此处“cool”不能准确表达姚明是偶像的原因。

建议用富有情感的语言表达对实现梦想的渴望。

升格展示

Hello,everyone!My name is Tom.I am a student in Class 9,Grade 7.

I am tall and thin.I have black hair and a round face.My eyes are not big,but they are bright.I often have a smile on my face and everyone thinks I am very friendly.

I love reading because I think it makes me know many things about the world.I also like many kinds of sports like football,badminton and basketball.Basketball is my favourite and I really do well in it.I began to play it when I was five years old.I often run on the playground after school.Now,I am a member of the school basketball team.

Among all the basketball players,I like Yao Ming best.He plays basketball very well and often helps his team come first in the match,so he is my hero.In the future,I will practise harder and I want to be a basketball player like him.I hope my dream will come true someday!

（江苏省靖江市实验学校 陈垚竹）

综合点评

本篇书面表达的主题是自我介绍，全文紧扣评选体育主播这个话题，结构合理，条理清晰，逻辑性强，体现了小作者积极向上的生活态度。

文章语言生动、流畅、精练，句式富有变化，时态把握准确。小作者能灵活运用七年级英语教材Unit 1和Unit 2所学的新短语和句式来表达外貌、爱好、特长、偶像和梦想等，也能较好地运用but,and,so,because,when等连词，使文章紧凑，富有层次感。