翻译擂台

上月回顾

共有378人参与本次《翻译擂台》，我们从中筛选了比较优秀的三篇译文与大家分享。这三位读者将获赠当期杂志一本并奖励现金（双语币）20元和50个积分。

提到中国的经典情书，就不能不提文学大师沈从文。《从文家书》字里行间流露的感情质朴、深沉而热烈。沈先生用三年多的时间追求张兆和女士，其间情书不断，最终修成正果；而婚后三十年他们依然保持书信方式的密切交流，真是难能可贵。二月情人节将至，一起来翻译这段经典情书，感受他们那份坚若磐石、至死不渝的爱情吧！

我想到这些，我十分忧郁了。生命都是太脆薄的一种东西，并不比一株花更经得住年月风雨，用对自然倾心的眼，反观人生，使我不能不觉得热情的可珍，而看重人与人凑巧的藤葛。

在同一人事上，第二次的凑巧是不会有的。我生平只看过一回满月。我也安慰自己过，我说，“我行过许多地方的桥，看过许多次数的云，喝过许多种类的酒，却只爱过一个正当最好年龄的人。我应当为自己庆幸，……”这样安慰到自己也还是毫无用处，为“人生的飘忽”这类感觉，我不能够忍受这件事来强作欢笑了。我的月亮就只在回忆里光明全圆，这悲哀，自然不是你用得着负疚的，因为并不是由于你爱不爱我。

选自沈从文之《从文家书》

优秀译文

济南Ellie

Having this in mind, I feel moodiness very much. Life is too weak, it is no more strong than a flower to withstand the time, wind and rain. To review life with the eyes admiring the nature makes me have to found the value of passion, and regard the coincidence between people as important. The second coincidence in the same people and thing does not exist. I have only seen the full moon once in my life. I have also comforted myself, I said, "I have crossed many bridges in different places, seen the cloud many times, and drunk a lot of kinds of the wine, but only loved one person who was in the most proper age. I should rejoice for myself, …" It is also no use to comfort myself like this. I can't endure this kind of feeling just like "the moving swiftly of life" to show happiness. My moon is full and blight only in my memory. Of course you needn't feel apologetic for this sorrow. Because it dose not due to whether you love me.

外编点评：译得不错，但是要注意措辞，例如“moodiness”在英语中的意思是“性情乖戾、坏脾气”，而译文中想表达的意思是“沮丧、悲哀”。还要注意比较级的正确形式，例如应该是“it is no stronger”而不是“it is no more strong”；此外，翻译时可以运用否定意义的词汇来取得相反的效果，例如本句可以译成it is as weak as/it is as frail as（跟……一样的脆弱）。另外有些表达过于直白，例如“eyes admiring the nature”和“the moving swiftly of life”，后者说成“the uncertainty of life”会更好。最后还要注意一些拼写错误，如blight（应为bright）、dose（应为does）。过于依赖电脑拼写检查程序的一大弊端就是检查程序常常会将拼写错误的单词自动修正成另外一个与上下文无关的正确词汇。

北京 深海的鱼

I am very depressed when I think about these trivia. Life is as fragile as a flower that could hardly endure various tests by time and tide. Track back to my life, I have to admit that how precious the passion is and I think highly of those relationships that happens in coincidence. But here is no same coincidence happen twice. For me, I only appreciate the full moon once in my life. I have comforted myself by saying "I have been so many places, seen clear and beautiful clouds for so many times and tasted so many various wines, but I only love one woman who is just in her best age. I should appreciate it and feel lucky for myself…" however, those comforted words are useless, life is uncertainty for me and I couldn't smile tolerantly. It's pit that the bright full moon only shines in my memory, but you needn't feel guilty for not loving me.

外编点评：译得非常好，但是需要注意的是尽量不要将连词如“but”作为句子的开头。某些地方丢掉了“have's”，如“I have only appreciated the full moon”、“I have only loved one woman”。而有些地方的时态也有些混乱，如应将“I couldn't smile tolerantly”改为现在时态 “I can't smile tolerantly”。Coincidence用词不当，改为“relationships that happen by chance”会更好。最后还要注意形容词的修饰对象，例如“comforted words”的意思是“词本身被安慰了”，应改为“words of comfort（安慰的话）”。

上海 Vera Liu

Thinking of these I fell into deep sadness. Life is too fragile a thing, not even stronger than a flower to stand years of storm. When looking back into life with eyes falling for the nature, I can not help feeling the preciousness of passion, and come to cherish more the imbroglio of coincidence between people.

To the same person or thing no identical coincidence will happen again. In my whole life I only saw the full moon for once. I used to console myself by saying: "I have walked through bridges of many places, seeing clouds for many times and drunk wine of many types, but I only fell in love with one girl at her most beautiful age of life. I should have congratulated myself for this......" However, such self comfort still failed in vain. With daunting feelings like "uncertainty of life" I can no longer stand to put on an air of cheerfulness. The bright full moon is only left in my memory. Naturally you don't need to feel sorry for my gloom, as it has nothing to do with your love for me.

外编点评：译得非常好，译文大部分条理分明，通俗易懂，但是也有一些小问题，例如“a flower to stand years of storm”让人感到困惑不解并且不是很恰当，此句最好说成“it can no more stand years of storm than a flower”或者“it's as weak as a flower before the storm”。此外“过桥”习惯说成“walks over/across bridges”而不是“walk through”。另外“Nothing to do with your love for me”所表达的意思是对方确实爱他，最好译成“whether or not you love me”。

本月题目

每逢新年伊始，时尚界便开始蠢蠢欲动，一年一度的春夏时装发布又鸣锣上演。巴黎男装周、巴黎高级定制服、纽约、伦敦、米兰、巴黎四大女装周，轮番上阵的新季发布，让人目不暇接。受到经济危机的影响，低调是本季时尚T台的主打，但是也有反其道而行之者，法国殿堂级时装品牌高缇耶就是一例。

高级定制真的是一件烧钱的事，不过这并不会妨碍高缇耶（Jean Paul Gaultier）在2009年春天为我们献上充满80年代风格的奢华、精致、绝美的视觉飨宴。高缇耶完美的将羽毛和刺绣结合在一起，繁复的服装样式、极具美丽的旋涡式华丽花边，极尽奢华之能事。

高缇耶向我们展示了其最自豪的本钱：完美的剪裁、天衣无缝的刺绣。可以说，高缇耶2009年春季高级定制秀是非常成功的！锋利、凸出的线条和令人着迷的曲线对比，充满戏剧化冲突的服饰，让人们充分领略到了80年代巨星的风采。

注：为了达到点评效果，本刊未对获奖译文进行改动。

参与方法

一、 网站参与获积分

请读者朋友直接登录双语时代官方网站http://www.bbtime.com.cn的“双语时代”版块参与活动；

二、 直接发邮件

请把您的译文在截稿日期前发送至contribution@bilingualtime.com（本期截稿日期2009年3月10号）。

翻译擂台“翻译赢取积分活动”已经开始，从2008年11月起只要译文被选中刊登，译者将获赠50个积分以及当期杂志一本！

奖品提示

作品被选登的读者将获得当期杂志一本；从网站参与的读者还将获赠积分或现金奖励。