2014年高考英语短文写作分析

王幼平++冯建国

【真题呈现】

请根据以下提示，并结合具体事例，用英语写一篇短文。

Small things make a big difference. The small things we do can make us a responsible member of the society.

注意：①无须写标题；②除诗歌外，文体不限；③内容必须结合你生活中的具体事例；④文中不得透漏个人姓名和学校名称； ⑤词数不少于120，如引用提示语则不计入总次数。

【审题谋篇】

提示语意为：小事情有大的影响，我们所做的小事情能使我们成为这个社会中有责任感的一员。提示语的落脚点在第二句话，因此我们要把小事情和社会责任感这两个点有机结合起来。一个人的社会责任也许并不起眼，一件事情上体现的社会责任也许并不惊天动地。但是，无数人担负共同的社会责任，无数小事情上汇集的社会责任举动，就能形成推动社会进步的巨大力量。在日常生活中，我们会遇到很多小事情，比如在灾难面前伸出援助之手，参加志愿者活动，节约水电，保护环境等，都能体现出我们的责任意识。因此，从我做起，从小事做起，尽到自己的社会责任是这篇文章的立意所在。

对于这种话题作文，我们依然采取引题、记叙、总结的三段式。把握了立意后，就可以谋篇布局了。第一段提出话题；第二段例举自己生活中遇到的一件体现自己社会责任感的小事；第三段写这个经历给自己的体会和启示，再次点明主题，首尾呼应。

习作一

As is known to us all， small things can make a big difference. In our daily life， even if the things we do are very small， we still can make us a responsible member of the society.

For example， one weekend， our teachers took us to a park where we were about to plant trees. With the help of our teachers， everyone at least planted one tree. Some enthusiastic students planted more. Every one of us was really happy to do something for our society. In the meanwhile， we were confident that there would be a forest in the park many years later. Last week， I went to the park. Those trees we planted ten years ago have been taller than I. What a exciting thing！ We do make us a responsible member of the society.

Although we just did a small thing， but it did make a big difference. Dont hesitate to do small thing just because they are small. Do it， and you will see the big change you make. Let us be a responsible member of the society.

点评 这是一篇中档习作。其优点是：

1.内容切题，语言表达清楚流畅。

2.运用了一些好的短语。如be about to， with the help of， in the meanwhile， hesitate to do sth.

3.运用了一些高级句式。如非限制性定语从句As is known to all，…；让步状语从句even if the things we do are very small， …；