The Non-romantics

By Wang Xiaolei Translation： Yu Lan

The Non-romantics

By Wang Xiaolei Translation： Yu Lan

In Jin Yong’s fiction, the most romantic character would have to be Huang Yaoshi1. After the death of his wife, he piled up masterpieces and relics by the jade coffin of his wife,making the chamber a small museum.In order to follow his wife, he designed a romantic way to die: he built a giant boat and took her coffin with him,standing at the boat head, blowing the jade flute and sinking with the boat.

Unfortunately, no matter what he did, he could not change the fact of his wife’s death. Thus, his behaviors impressed us as romantic but lack of practicality. In comparison, the obtuse and straightforward Guo Jing2seemed to be more realistic: bringing Huang Rong3a pack of food, though smashed.

Guo Jing didn’t spend a fortune on this food. He took it from Yang Kang4.Seeing the delicate food, he thought of Huang Rong and carried it in his bag. Unexpectedly, he encountered strong enemies on the road, fighting and running all the way. When he met Huang Rong, the food was all smashed and broken.

The first reaction was feeling ashamed, just like all honorable men without decent gifts. He said:“These are not edible” with a red face, throwing the scraps into the lake. However, Huang Rong stopped him and said: “I’ll eat it.” She ate while crying, taking out a white handkerchief and wrapping the remainder. She said with a smile: “I will eat more later.”

In order to win the heart of Huang Rong, Ouyang Ke5put all his eggs in one basket but failed. He even came to Peach Blossom Island to study so that he could get closer to Huang Rong. He deliberately chose a subject that required the most time—the Skill of Five Elements and Eight Diagrams. Isn’t it romantic that a young man from a well-off family studied advanced mathematics for a girl, torturing himself with calculus and analytic geometry? Ordinary girls would be deeply moved, but Huang Rong didn’t even take a look at him.It was instead the little surprise of the dumb Guo Jing that captivated her.

In Jin Yong’s fiction, surprises like these are abound and were all made by non-romantics—for example, Zhang Wuji6.

He went to Khanbaliq, the hectic capital of Yuan Empire on the excuse of searching for his foster father.In the dim light of the night the muddleheaded Zhang went into the tavern he used to drink with Zhao Min7and found her sitting inside.

This is the most romantic encounter in Dragon Buster. The first reaction of Zhao Min was jumping up with surprise, saying: “Why, why are you here?”with a shivering voice. It’s obvious that she felt thrilled.

It was because Zhang Wuji had never forgotten Zhao Min that they could meet in the old tavern.Compared with the appointed date, this kind of encounter brings people more surprise and affection. This is why Zhao Min loved Zhang Wuji.

The candid Di Yun8is also a non-romantic. In a big snow valley, he argued with a girl named Shui Sheng9and refused to set her free. However,he stayed by her side for a whole day. Later, Shui Sheng stopped calling him “big bad wolf” and called him “Brother Di” instead.

There is a kind of surprise called the nonromantics. They are not romantic but they are reliable. People like Guo Jing, Zhang Wuji and Di Yun don’t know the skills to pick up girls but they master the most basic trick of being a human. They move girls with sincerity. Bringing the smashed food, Guo Jin was not creating romance. Instead,he was only trying to bring the girl little happiness and that was what a girl called romance. ◆(From Lecture Room, November 2017)

在金庸小说中，要论浪漫，谁也浪漫不过黄老邪：妻子过世了，他十年如一日，在玉棺旁堆满传世名画和珍贵文物，把墓室摆放得像个微型博物馆。为了给夫人殉情，他还给自己设计一个浪漫的死法，专门造了一艘大游船，要带着妻子的玉棺扬帆出海，自己则傲立船头，吹着玉箫，和船一起沉没。

只可惜，即使他为妻子做了再多浪漫的事情，都无法改变妻子去世的现实，反而显得很不实在，远远不如木讷、憨厚的郭靖为黄蓉做的一件事——给了黄蓉一包吃的，一包被打得稀巴烂的点心。

这些点心，郭靖一分钱都没花，是小王爷杨康送给他的。郭靖见这些点心很精致，想到“黄蓉贤弟爱吃”，便揣了一包在怀里。不料接下来他迭遇强敌，又是打架又是逃命，等掏出这些点心给黄蓉时，点心早已经“或扁或烂，不成模样”。

郭靖的第一反应是害臊，就像所有惊觉礼物拿不出手的男人一样，“红了脸，道：‘吃不得了。’拿起来要抛入湖中”。黄蓉却红了眼圈，回答了又惊喜又感动的三个字：“我爱吃。”她边吃边哭，还拿出雪白的手帕，把剩下的烂点心仔细包好，“回眸一笑，道：‘我慢慢吃。’”

欧阳克为了追黄蓉，把各种套路都用尽了，黄蓉却看不上。他为了和黄蓉多接近，居然异想天开，要来桃花岛上课，还故意选了一门最耗时间、可以在岛上赖得最久的学问——五行八卦之术。一个高富帅为了追女同学，不惜去报高等数学班，用微积分、解析几何来折磨自己，这难道不浪漫吗？一般女孩子想想都感动得发晕吧，可黄蓉不正眼瞧他。反倒是憨厚的郭靖带给她的小惊喜，能把她一举击中。

市售金银花在带有温度控制的鼓风干燥箱中干燥成绝干物质作吸湿试验用, 分析纯浓硫酸(重庆川东化工有限公司化学试剂厂)。

金庸小说里，这样动人的惊喜还有很多，都是些不浪漫的人做出来的，比如张无忌。

他借口找义父，越过千山万水跑到车水马龙的元大都，夜色之下，孤身一人，信步街头，竟然浑浑噩噩地走进了曾和赵敏吃饭的小酒馆，却发现赵敏也正呆坐在里面。

Notes:

1.Huang Yaoshi: A fictional character in the novel The Legend of the Condor Heroes.The master of Peach Blossom Island.

2.Guo Jing: The protagonist of the novel The Legend of the Condor Heroes. He is described to be “dumb,” slow in learning and inarticulate.

3.Huang Rong: The daughter of Huang Yaoshi, and later became the wife of Guo Jing.

4.Yang Kang: A fictional character in the novel The Legend of the Condor Heroes.He was adopted by Wanyan Honglie, the sixth prince of the Jin Empire and was raised as a Jurchen noble.

5.Ouyang Ke: A lecherous young men who enjoys preying on young and beautiful maidens,especially Huang Rong.

6.Zhang Wuji: The fictional protagonist of the novel The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber by Jin Yong.

7.Zhao Min: One of the two female leading characters in the novel The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber by Jin Yong. She’s titled Princess Shaomin.

8.Di Yun: The protagonist of the novel A Deadly Secret.

9.Shui Sheng: Main character of A Deadly Secret. She is suspicious of Di Yun initially but falls in love with him gradually as she sees his kind nature.

这是《倚天屠龙记》全书里最浪漫的一次相遇。赵敏的反应是霍地站起，“啊”的一声叫出来，低声道：“你……你怎么会来？”语声颤抖，显然心中极为激动。

因为张无忌心中一直想着赵敏，才会“意外”地来到两人曾经吃饭的地方。和那些早已约好的情侣相比，这种相遇显然更会带给人惊喜和感动。这也难怪赵敏会喜欢张无忌。

老实厚道的狄云也是个不浪漫的人。在一个大雪谷里，他和女孩水笙赌气，不肯给她解穴，却在她身边目不交睫，守了一天一夜。从此，水笙对他的称呼就从“大坏蛋”变成“狄大哥”了。

有一种惊喜，叫身边有个不浪漫的人。他们不浪漫，但是一定要靠谱，就像郭靖、张无忌、狄云。他们不懂套路，却暗合了人性中最基本的套路：越真挚，越动人。就像郭靖的碎点心，他不是在制造浪漫，只是在努力给你带来小的惊喜。其实，这才是一个女子认为最浪漫的事情。◆

身边不浪漫的人

文/王晓磊 译/于兰

（摘自《百家讲坛》2017年第11期）