YOU’VE GOT QUESTIONS? SHE’S GOT ANSWERS

2020-08-14 10:05
汉语世界(The World of Chinese) 2020年4期
关键词:居委渣男原始人

My wife and I have been separated for two years, but a new law will require us to go through a 冷静期 (l0ngj#ngq~, cool-off period) before we can divorce. What should I do?

George Li

How dare you! You 渣男 (zh`n1n, scumbag)! Havent you heard? 宁拆一座庙, 不毁一桩婚 (N#ngch`i y! zu7 mi3o, b&hu@ y# zhu`ngh$n. Its better to destroy a temple than to break up a marriage). Those 好心 (h2ox~n, kindhearted) people at the 民政局 (m!nzh-ngj%, civil affairs bureau) clearly dont want to 棒打鸳鸯 (b3ng d2 yu`ny`ng, “drive apart a pair of Mandarin ducks with a stick,” separate a couple). No outsider will support you on this matter, since they always say, 劝和不劝离 (qu3n h9 b% qu3n l!, better to stay together than to split). I stuck with my drunken gambling husband, didnt I? Id have left him long ago, but the 居委會 (j$w0ihu#, residential committee) people kept asking me to consider my children…oh, wait…I see what you mean. How long is this cool-off period, you say? I think I have some papers to file.

Is it safe to eat salmon now that Covid-19 has been found in a Beijing seafood market? I really miss sashimi.

Hungry Huang

What a stupid fad, to eat raw fish in the first place! Are you a 原始人 (yu1nsh@r9n, caveman)? Why the habit of 茹毛饮血 (r%m1o-y@nxu-, eating raw flesh and drinking blood)? Whoever invented sashimi, and salad for that matter, must be a 懒惰的 (l2ndu7 de, lazy) cook: toss a bunch of ingredients on a plate and say its done. In China, a very 文明的 (w9nm!ng de, civilized) country, we always cook our food, and drink 开水 (k`ishu@, boiled water), since its good for our health. Listen to the ancient 智慧 (zh#hu#, wisdom) of our ancestors. If you must have salmon, cook the damn fish before putting it in your mouth.

Got questions for our Agony Ayi? Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com

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