读后续写，五步成文

陈光伟

笔者在指导学生进行读后续写时，通常要求学生按照“读全文——找伏笔——巧构思——定锚点——精打磨”五个步骤进行思路的梳理和写作。以下通过一份例题分析，介绍这五个步骤的具体操作。

[题目呈现]

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

My presentation was horrible. I lost the client（客户）. My boss wouldn’t look me in the eye and the rest of my day was spent in relative silence——I was left alone， in reality. Finally， I left my air-conditioned office and of course， outside it was hot as hell（地狱）. I was hot literally and figuratively as three buses passed， too full to stop and then the one that did stop should have kept going because the air conditioning wasn’t working.

I boarded the bus but was unable to stand it， so I squeezed my way off at the next stop. I would just walk the mile and a half to home. I annoyed further， as I continued my journey. I refused to take off my jacket， purposely， maximizing my frustration（沮丧）——“when it rains， let it pour”was my philosophy（态度）.

A block from my building， I heard the water splashing（溅） and kids screaming（尖声叫）so I knew the fire hydrant（消防栓）had been turned on. Without even thinking about taking an alternate route， I turned the corner， sure enough， there was a group of children playing water. They were politely on the lookout to stop the water from spraying on any passer-by， so when they saw me they stopped the water and when they saw my mean look， they even got quiet. The younger ones in bathing suit， the girls wearing shower caps and the boys with water guns all stared at me as I started to pass by.

Then I noticed a little one， no older than five， holding a water gun down by his side， eyeing me a little harder than the others. I eyed him back. Then his brother， who I had seen around the neighborhood， nodded at him like he was saying，“I dare you.” My eyes tightened a little further as I communicated my own“I dare you”to the five-year-old. Then his eyes moved， planning his escape route through the alley， and in that split second I knew I was going to get soaked.

注意：

1. 所續写短文的词数应为150左右;

2. 续写部分分为两段， 每段的开头语已为你写好。

And he got me， behind my ear， before he ran towards his exit.

_________________________________________________

_________________________________________________

I couldn’t remember my last fight._____________________

_________________________________________________

[步骤详解]

步骤一，读全文，构思续写框架

我们在读完全篇和给出的段首句之后，可以对文章进行总结和合理预测：作者从文章开始因丢掉客户受到老板的冷眼心情沮丧，到回家途中酷热天气下挤车的不顺，路上偶遇小孩水战。文章最后一句表示一场大战一触即发。

根据“正向结局”的思路，我们可以预测后文应该是作者通过和孩子们的水战“冲突”带来的舒爽，情绪从down到up，由郁闷沮丧到轻松愉快。

再根据所给的两句段首句可知，第一段应该是水战的具体描写，第二段应该是水战结束后作者的反思：他認识到生活中尽管会有不如意，但是快乐也是无处不在的，于是调整好自己的心情，决定重新出发，信心满满面对生活，迎接新的挑战。

构思的时候一定要读懂给出的两个段首句。And he got me， behind my ear， before he ran toward his exit. 由he got me可知，小孩已经射中我了。如果我们接下来再写小孩如何瞄准我和扣扳机，那就重复了。before he ran toward his exit说明小孩跑了。I couldn't remember my last water fight. 既然都不记得了，如果还写自己小时候打水仗的回忆就是自相矛盾。……