梦想在滑雪板上闪耀

广东 王永幸

艾米在炎热的拉斯维加斯沙漠中长大，她一直向往自由，幻想着住在下雪的地方。大学毕业后，她搬到了一个会下雪的地方，并爱上了滑雪，生活也算是一帆风顺，直到她的人生出现一个转折……

题材生活体裁记叙文文章词数334建议用时6分钟

Growing up in the hot Las Vegas desert, all I wanted was to be free.I would daydream about traveling the world, living in a place where it snowed, and picturing all of the stories that I would go on to tell.

At the age of 22, the day after I graduated from college, I moved to a place where it snowed. I was crazy about snowboarding and went to the local hill every weekend, eventually becoming a solid rider.For the first time in my life, I felt free, independent and completely in control of my life until my life made a detour(弯路).I went home from work early one day,thinking that I had got flu.And less than 24 hours later I was in the hospital on life support with less than a two percent chance of living.It wasn't until days later as I lay in a coma(昏迷)that the doctors diagnosed me with bacterial meningitis(细菌性脑膜炎).Over the course of two and a half months I lost both of my legs below the knees.

When my parents wheeled me out of the hospital I felt like I had been pieced back together like a patchwork doll. I thought the worst was over until weeks later when I saw my new legs for the first time.I didn't know what to expect,but I wasn't expecting that. I strapped on my injured legs and I stood up. They were so painful that all I could think was how I was ever going to snowboard again.

That day, I went home. I crawled into bed and this was what my life looked like for the next few months: escaping from reality, with my“new legs”resting by my side. I was absolutely physically and emotionally broken.

But I knew that in order to move forward, I had to let go of the old Amy, and learn to embrace the new Amy.

Language Study

Sentences for writing

1.Growing up in the hot Las Vegas desert,all I wanted was to be free.在炎热的拉斯维加斯沙漠中长大的我，最想要的就是获得自由。

【信息提取】本句中的Growing up为现在分词短语作状语。

【句式仿写】看着这张照片，我不禁怀念起我的中学时光。

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2.It wasn't until days later as I lay in a coma that the doctors diagnosed me with bacterial meningitis.几天后，在我陷入昏迷之际，医生才诊断出我得了细菌性脑膜炎。

【信息提取】本句含有一个强调句式：It is(was)+被强调部分+that(who)+句子其他部分。被强调部分常为主语、宾语和状语。在 该句中，被强调部分为状语部分not until days later as I lay in a coma。

【句式仿写】我们是从太阳那儿获得光和热量的。

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Reading Check

阅读上面的短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

I decided to have a try,although things didn't go quite as expected.

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So I decided to make a special snowboard in my way.

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写作导引

一、语篇研读

要想续写内容与所给材料内容连贯、衔接紧密，必须充分了解所给材料大意。本文是一篇记叙文，文章分析如下：

Characters Amy and her parents When Settings Where Beginning Plots Development At the age of 22,I graduated from college.I was in the hospital.I went home.I went home from work early one day and thought I had flu.The doctors diagnosed me with bacterial meningitis.Over the course of two and a half months I lost both of my legs below the knees.I was absolutely physically and emotionally broken.

Climax In order to move forward, I had to let go of the old Amy, and learn to embrace the new Amy....Theme Ending Believe in dreams and live beyond limits.

二、情节构思

我们可以基于原文本和续写段落首句提供的信息，构思要续写的故事情节。这一构思分为四步。

第一步，根据已给出的文本判断文章的立意。

文章开头介绍艾米在炎热的拉斯维加斯沙漠中长大，她一直向往自由，梦想周游世界，幻想着住在下雪的地方。大学毕业后，她搬到了一个会下雪的地方，并爱上了滑雪。不幸的是，她被诊断出患有细菌性脑膜炎，而且治疗后失去了双腿，她的梦想也因此受到了阻碍。这篇故事很有可能是围绕着“梦想”这个主题而开展的。

第二步，根据续写第一段的首句“I decided to have a try, although things didn't go quite as expected.”我们可以推测出，艾米决定尝试做某事。我们可以从以下几个问题入手：

（1）What did Amy want to try?

（2）What happened when she did this?

（3）What was her feeling?

（4）Was the snowboard suitable for her according to her special situation?

第三步，根据续写第二段所给出的段首句倒推续写第一段要写什么。

续写第二段的首句为“So I decided to make a special snowboard in my way.”，我们从其中的关键词make a special snowboard in my way 可以推测出，艾米使用的滑板并不适合她的假肢。那么，艾米要如何找到合适的滑板呢？她是否能找到合适的滑板呢？同时，第二段第一句话表达了“我”决定用自己的方式做一个特殊的滑板。为了使得这两段衔接自然,我们可以推测第一段的最后一句话和滑雪板或者滑雪运动有关。

第四步，围绕续写第二段所给出的段首句进行提问构思：

（1）How did Amy make a special snowboard in her way?

（2）What happened after she got the special snowboard?

（3）What was Amy's feeling about this experience?

（4）How can the ending reflect the theme?

三、润色成篇

在续写的过程中要注意“续”的原则，做到主题、情节、语言风格的一致性。具体如下：

（1）通过分析，本文的主题是弘扬积极乐观的人生观，如勇敢面对挫折和相信梦想，续写时应注意结局的走向；

（2）续写的情节应和前面的开始和发展吻合，根据人物的性格特点进行合理的预测，譬如艾米梦想环游世界和喜欢滑雪；

（3）前文有多处动作描写，且用了强调句、现在分词作状语、宾语从句和丰富的动词，续写的时候应尽量模仿并运用这些语言形式；

（4）续写时注意长短句相结合，句型丰富，语法、用词、标点符号的准确性。