发如雪，微醺的岁月

by Darnell L. Moore

I recently stopped by my supervisors office to wish him a good night. As I talked， he gazed intently upon my head until he finally 1）blurted，“Oh my God， is that a gray hair？”

And an extensive 2）mesmerizing gray 3）strand， it was. In fact， this particular histrionic gray 4）sprouted so high that it seemed to be 5）vying for everyones attention.

Before I had a chance to finish my weak and overly wrought explanation about the gray hair signifying wisdom， my boss pulled out a pair of scissors and asked permission to chop off the gray. I let him—despite my 6）sermonizing in defense of the old—and was made a bit younger， at least until the grays that 7）audaciously sprout out of the crown of my head returned.

近日，我经过主管办公室时，顺道进去和他道声晚安。就在我说话时，他聚精会神地盯着我的头，然后脱口而出：“天呐，那是白发吗？”

这是一大绺引人注目的白发。实际上，这一绺特别具有戏剧性的白头发还长得那么高，就像是在吸引所有人的注意一样。

我还没来得及说完那无力而夸张的解释——白头发象征着智慧——我的老板便拿出一把剪刀，问我是否可以将这绺白发剪掉。虽然我搬出套话为衰老辩护，但还是让他剪了，之后的我看起来年轻了少许，至少在那绺白发再次在头顶上肆无忌惮地长出来之前是如此。

On another occasion， I tried to pull out each gray strand in my beard one at a time. It was painful， literally and 8）figuratively. Pulling out ones hair strand by strand is a process that is not for the weak at heart—or 9）cuticle. It hurts.

To make it worse， I continued to pull but the gray strands， which seem to be tougher than the black strands that fall out with ease frequently， refused to loosen their attachment to my chin. I lost. Yet， I also was pained by the fact that I could not fully embrace my gray hairs and， therefore， my aging self. I was so resistant to looking like an “old man” that I was willing to 10）subject myself to the 11）stinging sensation of forceful hair removal to appear younger.

Over the past few years， I have really wanted to 12）hack my gray hairs one by one， but they are 13）unyielding. They refuse to be disappeared. Indeed， the most ambitious of the grays desire endless acknowledgment.

I have heartlessly pulled out one hair only to 14）contend with the five daring strands that return with 15）ferocity several weeks later in memory of the fallen. And I have finally resolved that I cannot win the fight against the relentless grays. Whenever I look in the mirror at my once fully-black beard， which is now 16）salt-and-pepper， I throw up my hands and clippers in defeat.

还有一次，我尝试一根一根地将白胡子拔掉。非常疼，身心如是。一绺一绺地把头发拔掉对于拥有软弱的心——或者是表皮的人来说，是不可行的，十分疼痛。

而且更糟的是，我继续拔掉一绺绺的白胡子，但是白胡子比那些经常脱落的黑胡子顽固很多，它们拒绝脱离我的下巴。我输了。但是，我还是为自己不能够完全接受白发——也就是变老——这个事实感到痛苦。我对看起来像“老人”这件事抗拒到竟然甘愿让自己遭受拔掉白发这种强烈的疼痛，以便让自己看起来显得年轻。

在过去的几年里，我真的很想一根一根拔掉我的白发，但是它们不屈不饶。它们不愿意就此消失。其实，野心勃勃的白发想要无穷无尽的认可。

我冷酷地拔出一根白发，只是为了和那几个星期之后来势汹汹的五绺大胆的白发做抗争，以此留个纪念。我最后明白自己不可能战胜这些冷酷无情的白发。……