轻松交友之道

by anonymous

很多人觉得交朋友很难。其实并不难！你要做的只是从自己的保护壳里走出来，并且记住，如果你爱自己，别人也会爱你。对青少年来说，交朋友的难易程度可能取决于几个因素。当然，你要花点时间了解一下他们是真正的朋友，还是会把你的秘密宣扬出去的人。记住，交友需谨慎！

1. Relax. Its all about confidence—if you are nervous or try too hard to look cool youll just act weird[怪异的]， so you wont make many friends. You will stand out as overdoing[做得过分] something. You have to act like you have had plenty of friends in the past so even the “cool” ones will want to speak to you. You have to think of good reasons for why someone would like to meet you， think of the virtues[优点] you have. So relax， people will like you for passing a peaceful energy.

2. Make the first move. Dont be shy； it wont help you in anything. Look around for someone that seems interesting， then relax and go up to talk to them. Say hi， give them your name if they dont know your name yet， ask how they are and just meet them. If you know a bit about them， for example， the person likes crafts[手工制作]， you can talk about that. A good subject to talk about to anyone is music， because almost everybody likes music， you can ask someone what kind of music they like and start a cool conversation with them and even find some things in common[共同享有的]. Sitting shy in a corner distances[使显得遥远] you from everyone else. Become more outgoing[开朗的]. Other topics could be movies or sports. Try not to get deep when you are first meeting somebody. Steer clear from[避开] things like politics， religion and relationship problems， to name a few.

3. Be nice. How do you expect them to like you if you are not nice？ Put a calm smile on your face and find out what you and the person you are trying to befriend have in common. Youll be able to be more comfortable if you find out that other person has many things in common with you.

4. Be a good listener. Give attention to what they say， make eye contact[接触] and show youre paying attention. Nod， agree， show you find what they say is interesting. Its important to be a good listener， because everyone likes to be heard， and if this person feels like youre listening to them， your new friend will enjoy your company[陪伴] more.

5. Be yourself. I know youve heard it a lot of times， but no one really likes a poseur[装腔作势的人]—people would like the real you better for your virtues， not a fake person no one really knows. For example， if you really lived the “thug[暴徒] life”and had it tough， you can easily be a gangsta[歹徒]. But if you are just trying to act a certain way or to be tougher than you really are， you should give it up. So just be you， speak your mind， that way people will enjoy being around you a lot more and feel comfortable that youre not trying to deceive[欺骗] them. Be yourself and you will get people that like you for you. If they dont like you for being yourself， then it is time to move on to someone else. Be natural， be the way that you were born to be. You were put on Earth for some purpose and to show it off.

6. Develop friendships. You may talk to someone now but soon theyll forget you if you stop. Youd better take the time to say hi to them every day and ask how they are doing. Say their name as often as you can， like once every three-five sentences， unless you know itd seem awkward[笨拙的]. When you greet them， say things like， “Hey Alex！”， “What you doing， Sarah？”， “Whats up， Miranda？” If you do that every day， theyll be happy that you care about them and remembered them， so they wont forget you.

7. Include those friends in your social life. Invite your new friends to go out together with you， go to the mall or hang out at a cool place. You guys should have fun together， so you can introduce your new friends to old friends and build your social circle from there， with people that accept each other.

1. 放松。关键在于信心——如果你很紧张，或是过分努力让自己看起来很酷，那只会令你的行为显得怪异，从而难以交到很多朋友。当你过度地做某件事情，你会显得格格不入。你必须表现得好像你以前已经有很多朋友那样去行动，这样，即便是那些很“酷”的人也会想和你说话。你要想到别人有哪些很好的理由想要去认识你，以及想想自己身上具备的优点。所以，放松点吧，人们会因为你身上平和宁静的气息而喜欢你的。

2. 主动迈出第一步。不要害羞；害羞对你没有任何帮助。看看周围，找些能引起你兴趣的人，然后放松，走上前与他们交谈。说一声“嗨”；如果他们还不知道你的名字，就把你的名字告诉他们；问问他们的近况，和他们见面吧。假如你对他们已有一些了解，比如你知道对方喜欢工艺品，你就可以聊聊这个话题。音乐是适合与任何人聊天的好话题，因为几乎每个人都喜欢音乐。你可以问问对方喜欢什么样的音乐，由此开始一段很酷的交谈，甚至还可能由此找到一些共同点呢。如果你只是羞怯地坐在角落，那只会把你和大家隔绝开来。让自己开朗外向一点。至于其他话题，你们也可以聊聊电影或者体育。和初次见面的人尽量不要聊得太深入。要避开诸如政治、宗教和感情关系等话题。

3. 态度亲切友善。如果你的态度不友善，你又怎能期望别人会喜欢你呢？让你的脸上露出平静的微笑，试着找出你和你想要结交的对象有何共同点。当你发现对方与你有许多共同点时，你们相处起来会舒服一些。

4. 做一个善于聆听的人。关注对方所说的话，注意眼神接触，表现出你正在认真聆听。不时点头同意，表明你对他们所说的东西很感兴趣。做一个好的倾听者很重要，因为每个人都希望有人倾听自己。如果对方觉得你在听他诉说，你的这位新朋友便会更加乐于与你为伴。

5. 做真实的自己。我知道你已经听过无数次了，但没有人会喜欢装腔作势的人——人们会因为你的优点而更加喜欢真实的你，而不是那个无人真正了解的假象。假如你确实过着“暴徒生涯”，平时都是飞扬跋扈，那么你当一个黑帮成员会得心应手。但如果你只是想装成某种样子，或是假装比实际上强硬，那么你还是放弃吧。因此，做真实的自己吧，坦率地说出自己的想法，这样人们会更喜欢和你待在一起，为你不会欺骗他们而感到舒服自在。做真实的自己，人们会因此而喜欢你的。如果他们不喜欢真实的你，你就应该继续寻找其他朋友了。你只要自然流露，展现真我。你之所以来到地球上，总有某个原因的，向人们展示出来吧。

6. 发展友谊。你现在也许正在和别人交谈，但一旦你停止，他们很快就会把你忘记。最好每天都抽点时间和他们打个招呼，问问他们的近况。尽可能多地提到他们的名字，每说三、五句话就提一次他们的名字——除非你觉得那样做会很奇怪。如果你每天都和他们打招呼，说：“嗨，亚历克斯！”“莎拉，你在干嘛？”“米兰达，最近怎么样？”他们会因为你关心和记得他们而感到高兴，也就不会忘记你了。

7. 让新朋友参与你的社交生活。邀请你的新朋友和你一起出去，一起去逛商场或是去某个不错的地方。大家在一起肯定会很开心，所以你可以介绍新朋友和你的老朋友认识，从这里开始，通过一些能够接受彼此的人，建立起你的社交圈。