巧用 Tea Meat构思续写框架

朱红虹

一、策略概述

在讀后续写中，构建出好的框架是写出逻辑合理、语意衔接的文章的前提。因此，我们在写作前要构建好续写框架，写作时才会思路清晰，写出与原文衔接合理、符合逻辑的续文。

笔者通过研究近几年的高考真题，总结出操作性强的读后续写框架：Tea Meat 框架。即：

Transitional sentence衔接句→Emotion or Environment心理描写/环境描写→Action 动作一→Monologue or Conversation独白/对话→Emotion or Environment心理描写/环境描写→Action 动作二→Transitional sentence衔接句或者Theme主题句。

框架中的具体描写可根据故事情节需要适当调整顺序。

读后续写常用的写作框架：

第一段：首句（已给出）。第一句：Transitional sentence衔接句承上（回应首句的内容）→第二句：Emotion or Environment心理描写/环境描写→第三句：Action 动作一→第四句：Monologue or Conversation独白/对话→第五句：Emotion or Environment心理描写/环境描写→第六句：Action 动作二→第七句：Transitional sentence衔接句启下（结合第二段首句，结束第一段）。

第二段：首句（已给出）。第一句：Transitional sentence衔接句承上（回应首句的内容）→第二句：Emotion or Environment心理描写/环境描写→第三句：Action 动作一→第四句：Monologue or Conversation独白/对话→第五句：Emotion or Environment心理描写/环境描写→第六句：Action 动作二（解决问题）→第七句：Theme回归主题，感情升华。

本文以高考题为例，分析如何在Tea Meat框架下，完成续写。

二、实例分析

（2020年7月浙江卷）阅读下面短文 ，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

One fall， my wife Elli and I had a single goal： to photograph polar bears. We were staying at a research camp outside“the polar bear capital of the world”—the town of Churchill in Manitoba， Canada.

Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous. Polar bears—like all wild animals—should be photographed from a safe distance. When I’m face to face with a polar bear， I like it to be through a camera with a telephoto lens. But sometimes， that is easier said than done. This was one of those times.

As Elli and I cooked dinner， a young male polar bear who was playing in a nearby lake sniffed， and smelled our garlic bread. The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp， which was surrounded by a high wire fence. He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts.

Terrified， Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew. We yelled at the bear， hit pots hard， and fired blank shotgun shells into the air. Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off. Not this polar bear though—he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws （爪子）.

I radioed the camp manager for help. He told me a helicopter was on its way， but it would be 30 minutes before it arrived. Making the best of this close encounter（相遇）， I took some pictures of the bear. Elli and I feared the fence wouldn’t last through

30 more minutes of the bear’s punishment. The camp manager suggested I use pepper spray. The spray burns the bears’ eyes， but doesn’t hurt them.

So I approached our uninvited guest slowly and， through the fence， sprayed him in the face. With an angry roar（吼叫），  the bear ran to the lake to wash his eyes.

注意：

1. 续写词数应为 150 左右;

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Paragraph 1：

A few minutes later， the bear headed back to our camp. _____________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

At that very moment， the helicopter arrived. __________________________________________________________________

主旨大意

我和妻子想给北极熊拍照。因为给北极熊拍照既令人感到激动又是一件很危险的事情，因此，我们在“the polar bear capital of the world”扎营，希望可以近距离拍照。当我们在做晚饭的时候，有一只北极熊在附近的湖边玩，闻到了我们的面包，然后对我们营地进行攻擊。我们采取了一系列的行动想要吓走北极熊，但是没用。最后我们向营地管理人求助。在等待救援的过程中，北极熊还在不断的吼叫，攻击。

根据给出的段首句，结合Tea Meat 框架。可以构思续写框架。

第一段：首句（已给出）。A few minutes later， the bear headed back to our camp.

第一句：Transitional sentence衔接句承上（回应首句的内容）。He roared even more angrily this time.

第二句：Emotion 心理描写。Panicked as we were， Elli and I screamed at the top of our lungs.

第三句：Action 动作一。The bear smashed his paws crazily against the wire fence， trying to stab us with his sharp claws.

第四句： Conversation对话。“Step back！”I shouted with my voice trembling.

第五句：Action 动作二。We waved our fists at him in an attempt to intimidate and scare him away.

第六句：Emotion 心理描写。To our disappointment， all these efforts were in vain.

第七句：Transitional sentence衔接句启下（结合第二段首句，结束第一段）。The bear violently dashed against the wooden posts which were evidently on the verge of collapsing！

第二段：首句（已给出）。At that very moment， the helicopter arrived.

第一句：Transitional sentence衔接句承上（回应首句的内容）。The gusting wind from the the helicopter swept away our fear immediately.

第二句：Action 动作一。Out of the helicopter descended a rope to pull us up.

第三句：Emotion 心理描写。Thrilled and frightened， we grabbed the rope and eventually climbed up the helicopter.

第四句：Monologue 独白。“What an experience！”， I murmured.

第五句：Action 动作二。While looking at the chunky bear from high above， I was amazed to spot this stubborn guy had crushed the fence and headed toward our camp for the inviting garlic bread.

第六句：Emotion 心理描写（解决问题）。Feeling relieved， We were saved and safe in the helicopter.

第七句：Theme回归主题，感情升华。At this once in a lifetime moment， I reached into my backpack and pulled out the camera， photographing that impressive scene.

参考范文：

A few minutes later， the bear headed back to our camp. He roared even more angrily this time.（T）Panicked as we were， Elli and I screamed at the top of our lungs.（E）The bear smashed his paws crazily against the wire fence， trying to stab us with his sharp claws.（A）“Step back！”I shouted with my voice trembling.（C）We waved our fists at him in an attempt to intimidate and scare him away.（A）To our disappointment， all these efforts were in vain.（E）The bear violently dashed against the wooden posts which were evidently on the verge of collapsing！（T）

At that very moment， the helicopter arrived. The gusting wind from the helicopter swept away our fear immediately.（T）Out of the helicopter descended a rope to pull us up.（A）Thrilled and frightened， we grabbed the rope and eventually climbed up the helicopter.（E+A）“What an experience！”， I murmured.（M）While looking at the chunky bear from high above， I was amazed to spot this stubborn guy had crushed the fence and headed toward our camp for the inviting garlic bread.（A）Feeling relieved， We were saved and safe in the helicopter.（E）（解决问题）At this once in a lifetime moment， I reached into my backpack and pulled out the camera， photographing that impressive scene.（T）

三、靈活运用

请运用Tea Meat 构思框架，写后续文。

（2020佛山二模）阅读下面短文 ，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

This was it.

Today was the day.

Finally， she would be able to see her again.

It’d been five long years. Her university days now felt like a lifetime ago. When Jennifer thought back to it， she didn’t like the girl she had been then， but when she thought about Yui Fay， that discomfort disappeared and her whole life lit up.

She couldn’t be more excited. She kept imagining their meeting – how they would run towards each other， hugging and talking of the old times. As she imagined， happiness spread through her body.

It was time to get dressed. As she was struggling about what to wear， she spotted a red summer dress， which she wore that night in Barcelona. She would never forget that night five years before. After a hard week at university， Yui Fay and she spontaneously（心血来潮地）bought bus tickets to Barcelona. They slept on the bus and then spent the whole day exploring the city. In the evening， they met these fun young guys and spent the whole night singing and dancing. Every day with Yui Fay was fun.

After university Yui Fay went back to China where she took over her family’s business， while Jennifer took the job in an office. They promised to keep in contact. But then life happened. The occasional calls faded with time and they had not talked for over two years. Yet， of all her friends， Yui Fay was still the one she felt the closest to. She knew all her fears， dreams， and her wildest stories. She knew that if something happened， Yui Fay would be there for her no matter what. And vice versa. Some friendships just survive the passage of time.

Yet the idea of meeting her was also terrifying. What if ...？ The idea was too hard to put into words. What if the person she was so fond of was no longer？What if this dinner turned out to be nothing more than a meeting between two boring businesswomen？

At that moment， her cellphone rang.

注意：

1. 续写词数应为 150 左右;

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Para1： Jennifer took up her phone and looked at the screen. _____________________________________________________

Para2： Just then， someone was coming towards Jennifer._____________________________________________________

根据原文故事情节，结合Tea Meat 框架，构思自己的续写框架：

第一段：首句（已给出）。Jennifer took up her phone and looked at the screen.

第一句：Transitional sentence衔接句承上（回应首句的内容）。_________________________________________________

第二句：_________________________________________

第三句：_________________________________________

第四句：_________________________________________

第五句：_________________________________________

第六句：_________________________________________

第七句：Transitional sentence衔接句启下（结合第二段首句，结束第一段）

____________________________________________________

第二段：首句（已给出）。Just then， someone was coming towards Jennifer.

第一句：Transitional sentence衔接句承上（回应首句的内容）_________________________________________________

第二句：_________________________________________

第三句：_________________________________________

第四句：_________________________________________

第五句：_________________________________________

第六句：_________________________________________

_____________________________________________________（解决问题）

第七句：Theme回归主题，感情升华_________________

_____________________________________________________

参考范文：

Jennifer took up her phone and looked at the screen.（T）At the sight of the number， she was seized by a strong sense of excitement.（A）“Hello！ Yui Fay？”she answered the phone immediately， her voice trembling. （E）“Yes！ It’s me！ Jennifer.” voice sounded excited too.（C）On the phone， Yui Fay said she had been caught by a traffic jam and asked Jennifer to wait for a while in the restaurant.（A）After the phone， Jennifer put on her red summer dress quickly and hurried to the appointed restaurant. （E）Half an hour later， she got there and sat down at the table， waiting for Yui Fay anxiously and excited.（T）Since she didn’t arrive， Jennifer scanned the menu and thought about what to order.

Just then， someone was coming towards Jennifer.（T）Jennifer looked up.（A）She found it was Yui Fay wearing the exact dress which she wore that night in Barcelona.（E）Both surprised， they laughed and hugged each other tightly.（A）They sat down at the table， having dinner happily and talking of the old times cheerfully.（E）Even though they had not talked for over two years， they still felt close to each other.（E）Again Jennifer felt her life lit up，for Yui Fay was still the person she was fond of.（T）Their meeting turned out to be so wonderful and their friendship survived the passage of time.

責任编辑 蒋小青

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