小幽默

A Surprise

We had just moved into a new school district， when brother was invited to a surprise birthday party. He didnt want to go， however， because he couldnt recall ever meeting the birthday boy.

“Ridiculous！” said my mother. “If he didnt know you， his mother wouldnt have invited you.” And with that she packed him off to have a good time.

When Dave came home， Mom wanted to know how it had gone.

“Well，” he said glumly， “We got there and everyone hid behind a couch. Then， when the boy came in， we all jumped up and yelled， ‘SURPISE. And he pointed straight at me and shouted， ‘Who is he？”

大吃一惊

我们刚刚搬到一个新的学区，我哥哥就被邀请去参加一个惊喜生日聚会。他不想去，因为他无论如何也想不起曾见过那个过生日的男孩。

“莫名其妙！”妈妈说：“如果他不认识你，他妈妈是不会来要邀请你的。”说着，妈妈就把他送出了门。

大衛回到家后，妈妈很想知道聚会开得怎样。

“怎么说呢？”他无精打采地说：“我们到会后，大家都藏在一个沙发的后边，等到过生日的男孩一进屋，我们就跳起来喊：“给你一个惊喜哟！”这时，他径直地指着我问：“他是谁？”

Do Me a Favor

The mechanic was very busy when I took my car in for repairs， so I settled down in the waiting room with a book Id bought along. The mechanic was in and out answering calls， and at one point he stopped and looked at me. “Would you do me a favor and flip back a few pages when someone comes in？ That way it wont look as if youve been here all day，”

请帮个忙

我把车拖去修理，机械师很忙。所以我就坐在接待室，拿出我随身带来的书读，机械师出出进进地接电话。有一次，他停下来看了看我说：“你能帮我个忙吗？有人进来时，把书翻回几页行吗？那样的话，就不会看上去你在这儿呆了一整天了。”

Its Yesterdays Paper.

Tom： Whats the date today？

Jack： Let me look at the newspaper in your pocket.

Tom： No use. Its yesterdays paper.

那是昨天的报纸

汤姆：今天是几月几号？

杰克：让我看看你的口袋里的报纸。

汤姆：没有用，那是昨天的报纸。

It Seemed like Hours

As a band instructor at an elementary school， I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time. I had to laugh， however， when one parent wrote on her childs sheet， “Practiced 17 minutes， but it seemed like hours.”

犹如几个小时

作为一个小学的乐队指挥，为了确保学生投入足够的时间练习，我要求他们上交由他们父母签字的练习单。可是有一次，一位家长在她孩子练习单上的签字让我只能笑。练习单上写着：“练习了17分钟，但犹如几个小时。”

（吉林长春周丹供稿）