掌握四大技巧,提质增效得高分

2022-04-03 07:11杨春吉
求学·理科版 2022年4期
关键词:故事情节小鹿语篇

杨春吉

讀后续写主要考查学生的阅读理解能力、逻辑思维能力、多维想象能力和语言表达能力,旨在落实立德树人的根本任务,培养学生的英语学科核心素养。

在读后续写这类题型中,通常需要对一篇故事性较强的记叙短文进行续写,这类短文具有可读性、可延展性、衔接性、完整性、温情性等特征,多弘扬真、善、美,传播正能量,或充满意趣性,给读者一定的愉悦感。

学生读后续写作品常见问题

在考试中,由于时间所限、对文本解读不到位、理解有失偏颇、词汇知识储备不够、语法运用不灵活等因素,考生的作品存在着诸多方面的问题。主要体现为以下几点:

1.主题把握不准确。这会导致续写内容与故事情节不相符,行文有时甚至偏离主题。

2.情节延展不合理。没有按照作者的叙事思路、设想续写。

3.情感协同不到位。没有一脉相承地承递原文的情感基调,并使之得到升华。

4.语言风格不一致。没有延续作者原有的文风,使续写部分的风格与原文协同一致。

5.“变式”表达应用不灵活。没有灵活运用省略、倒装、强调等语法手段表情达意。

针对上述问题,本文将结合例题介绍故事续写的四大技巧,以期对同学们的备考有所帮助。

【题目示例】

It was a burning hot day in late summer, when my father drove me and my friends Jim and John to the lumber mill(锯木厂)where he was working, to play for several days.

The workers’ working conditions were really poor. Despite of the hot weather, that day the workers were still working hard. They were covered in sweat and sawdust(锯末), looking discouraged and tired. It was dangerous, back-breaking work that paid very little. They did the job because they had no other suitable work to do to support their families.

We decided to play in the forest nearby the mill. So shortly after looking around the big yard of the mill, we three children ran out to the forest before my father could warn us to take care. The dense forest was a place filled with wonders—a truly fun place for kids to play. Behind the big old trees we played hide and seek. We also removed our shoes and climbed to the top of tall trees to see what were in bird nests. Sometimes we quieted down, approached a noise-making insect, caught it and put it into big pockets of my white shirt. With everything seeming so interesting and pleasant, we couldn’t hold back our curiosity and excitement.

We three were exploring what attracted each of us when Jim suddenly called out: “Hey! There’s a deer in here!” Hearing this, John and I turned and saw a brown-haired figure lying under a tree. We raced towards it. Sure enough, there lay a beautiful little deer on its side, with bright big eyes looking us with fright. I was about to pat it when Jim said, “The deer must have been injured somewhere, or it couldn’t be lying here.” What he said sounded reasonable. Having examined the deer carefully, we found one of his front legs was seriously hurt and bleeding from a cut.

“We must do something to stop the bleeding at once.”I said anxiously.

Hearing this, the workers at work all came out to see what the matter was.

What a pleasant, meaningful day it was!

宏观把握主题,预测考题在短文中的架构关系

语篇主题是作者写作的主旨或某种情感的寄托,所有的故事情节都是围绕着语篇主题展开的,故事情节对主题起到“众星捧月”的作用。

同学们要想宏观把握语篇的主题,预知完整的故事框架,除了结合已有的故事情节及命题线索要求,还需要特别关注短文的几处地方。

一是文章的标题。标题是文眼,是语篇主题的导向性浓缩与精华。二是已有语篇文本的主题句。这是文章铺叙的根本和核心,也是预知文章框架的基础和前提。三是各段落主题句。它们是文章总主题句的分主题句,是为总主题句服务的,同时也是续写后续情节的前奏和基础。四是设题段首句。续写段落的首句往往是故事的分主题句,对该段落的写作起导向作用。同学们要厘清该句与短文所有情节的架构关系,以便进行后续情节的推断与写作。

示例短文是一篇记叙文,谈论的是人与自然的话题。故事的主题是爱护动物、拯救生灵。短文主要讲述了“我”和小伙伴去爸爸工作的锯木厂附近的森林玩耍,遇到了一只受伤的小鹿,以及“我”和小伙伴如何拯救受伤的小鹿的故事,体现了人与自然共生共存的人文情怀。

一般来讲,故事性记叙文的主题比较明确,要么有明晰的主题句,要么根据故事情节可以总结、归纳出主题句。上述短文的故事主题属于第二种。短文的主题线索句如下。

1.“We must do something to stop the bleeding at once.”I said anxiously.

2.Hearing this, the workers at work all came out to see what the matter was.

3.What a pleasant, meaningful day it was!

结合短文内容,我们可以归纳出短文的主题——“Saving a Wounded Deer”。

关注续段首句与前后文的联系,微观预测缺失情节

故事性记叙文一般含有五大要素,即what、who、when、where、how。故事情节在铺叙时常分为起、承、轉、合四个部分。首先,阐述故事的起因、时间、地点、人物。其次,阐述故事情节的发展。在故事的发展过程中,作者通常运用“冲突”手段来延展故事内容,使故事情节跌宕起伏,引人入胜。再次,将故事的发展推向高潮。最后,矛盾得以化解,故事圆满结束。故事性记叙文通常运用“吊人胃口”的写作手法,令读者产生一定的代入感,不由自主地去阅读、探寻、解决问题。

合理想象与构思是精准续写后续情节的基石。同学们在续写情节时,需注意以下几个方面。第一,情节续写必须向正能量方向延展才符合作者的本意(禁止天马行空的胡乱想象与推理)。第二,故事的内涵要丰富,情节要有起伏,具有审美性、可读性和一定的教育意义。第三,故事的结尾往往是故事的主题升华之处。合理续写,进而升华主题是考查要点。第四,重视续段首句的承上启下作用,分析该承接句与下文情节相呼应的地方,使续写内容与原文内容连贯、协同、合理,顺理成章。

短文已知线索为:爸爸带“我”和“我”的两个好朋友去锯木厂玩耍→我了解了那里的工人们的工作环境与现状→“我”和朋友们去森林玩耍→“我”和朋友们发现了一只受伤的小鹿→小鹿的腿在流血……

据此,合理推断故事情节。

Para.1:在“我”说出必须先止住伤口的血后,Jim和John有什么反应?→他们有何建议或做了什么?→“我”是怎么做的?→“我”穿的白衬衫是否可以作为绑带为小鹿止血?→“我们”是怎样进行急救的?→小鹿的伤势如何?→小鹿的伤好了吗?→小鹿是否需要人照顾一段时间?→从续段二第一句可推知,“我们”肯定回到锯木厂了,“我们”喊了什么话让工人们听到声音就跑了出来?

Para.2:工人们听到呼喊后跑出来看到了什么?→他们有什么反应?→小鹿的伤口还需要处理吗?→爸爸是怎么做的?→工人们是怎么想的?→他们做了什么?→他们说了什么?→“我”有什么样的感受?

厘清延展故事的思路后,同学们可以从记忆中调取所学的语法、词汇和写作的相关知识和技巧,合理续写,延展成文。

注重情感、文风协同,通篇一致保基调

故事性记叙文往往以叙事为主,同时含有主人公的情感脉络,情文并茂,感人至深,给人以教益。情感作为文章的重要脉络,对语篇所承载的人文主题的升华起重要作用。

情感,一般分为“直陈式”情感和“委婉式”情感两种。“直陈式”情感是指直接运用情感词语来描述人物的情感,“委婉式”情感则指利用感官、表情、声音、体态语言等间接体现人物的某种情感。

此外,行文时,同学们还可以运用比喻、夸张、拟人、拟物等修辞手法描绘人物的情感,亦可运用省略、倒装、强调等语法手段来表达人物的情感。

为准确表达短文情感,同学们可采用以下策略:

1.构建词汇库(words bank)

同学们可利用“同义词辨析法”强化同类词汇用法的广度和深度。

比如,“到达”可以用“arrive, reach, get to”等来表达。如此,“We got to the farm together with some farmers at noon.”这一句还可以表达为“We arrived at/ reached the farm together with some farmers at noon. ”。

又如,“忍受,容忍”可以用“put up with, stand, bear”等来表达。如此,“Nancy can’t put up with her toothache any longer.”这一句还可以表达为“Nancy can’t bear her toothache any longer.”。

2.利用副词的修饰功能展现故事主人公的某种情绪特征

比如在上述短文中可用“I said anxiously; said John anxiously; bound it tightly; patting it gently; talked excitedly”等心情类词汇表达出主人公们关心小鹿的伤势、盼望小鹿康复的急切心情。情感词汇寓于合理的情节之中,才能彰显出语言的魅力,令读者感受到英语语言之美,体味到语篇主题之情韵。

3.巧用动词刻画人物的某种心理特征,并做好同义词替换

如“hurry, dash, rush, race, fly”等表现急迫感的动词,可搭配“spot, notice, observe, take notice of, catch a glimpse of”以及表示进入的“break into, burst into, slide into, slip into, steal into”等相关单词或词组使用,使表达更丰盈、更准确,同时避免用词的泛化與重复,增加词汇的丰富性。

巧用“变式”表达,使行文合规、顺畅

续写部分要求词数控制在150左右,一般位于文中或文末。同学们在写作时,一要正确表达,合理续写,快速成文;二要适当运用变式表达手法,使行文充满灵性,从而获得阅卷教师的“点赞”。鉴于此,同学们可以灵活运用省略、倒装、强调等特殊句式或结构,使行文言简意赅,辞约义丰。

例如:

1.With no path to follow, Alice just walked on for quite a long time.(with复合结构)

2.Alice kept moving, but the farther she walked, the more confused she became.(the+比较级,the+比较级)

3.Never in her life had she tasted anything better.(否定词置于句首,主谓语部分倒装)

4.If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom.(if only引导的虚拟语气)

【One possible version】

Para.1: “We must do something to stop the bleeding at once.” I said anxiously. “But we had no bandage!” said John anxiously. Glancing at my white shirt, I had a good idea. Taking it off and tearing it into pieces, I folded them, pressed them onto the cut and bound it tightly. Everything done, we breathed a sigh of relief. Patting it gently, we encouraged the deer to rise. The deer attempted to, but in vain. “It takes him some time to recover. We should first take it to the mill.”Jim suggested. So we three took turns to carry it on our way to the mill. On reaching the mill, I shouted: “Father, we have a wounded deer!”

Para.2: Hearing this, the workers at work all came out to see what the matter was. Seeing the wounded deer’ health condition, they understood and praised us for that. Then my father attended the wound of the deer with care and recovered it gradually. The unexpected arrival of the lovely guest brightened the day of the tired workers, who talked excitedly, forgetting all about their worries. “Leave it to us, and we’ll take good care of it.” One worker said excitedly.“After it recovers, we’ll return it to nature. Trust us!”Another assured us. The kind workers smiles filled me with a sense of warmth and pride.

·结语·

同学们要想答好读后续写这一题型,除了掌握上述解题技巧,还需要培养代入感,着力与主人公产生共情;加强整本书阅读体验,学会欣赏故事;了解故事的行文规律,掌握推断故事情节的技巧;加强英汉互译训练;学会灵活运用情境性语言;等等。同时,同学们还要注意书写工整、规范,以及进行足量的考前模拟训练,在训练中夯实解题技巧,优化解题策略。若能做好上述诸项,高分续写非你莫属!

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